2008 July | The Time Finder with Paula Eder

The Time Finder with Paula Eder

The way you use your time is the way you live your life.

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Finding Time to Appreciate Each Moment

Posted on July 31, 2008 by Paula, under Time After Time.

Blueberries. It’s the season!

You know how an image can stay with you for no apparent reason? Every year at this time, I remember when I went blueberry picking with my 3 week old son, Aaron, tucked safely into the Snugli, strapped around me. I picked and picked… and of course, I popped some berries into my mouth. I remember the serenity, hearing Aaron’s rhythmic breathing as he slept, unaware of the adventure he was having. Rows and rows of magnificent blueberry bushes, dripping with big, lush berries (I’ve always preferred the big ones).

And now, 34 years later, during this season, I walk to the garden every morning and fill the container with blueberries and raspberries to top my cereal. The colors so bright! The
scent so intoxicating! And how the energy radiates from them! I am indeed grateful for this life.

Focusing on enjoying this moment’s gifts and fully meeting its challenges makes life immeasurably richer, don’t you think?

To continue to develop your power to focus on appreciating the gifts and meeting the challenges that time brings your way, I invite you to sign up for my Finding Time E-zine and Finding Time Tips.

Let’s explore time together …

How would it feel to have another hour in your day? You can! For more Time Finding resources sign up for my free, twice-weekly Finding Time Tips. Each Tip is paired with a practical action step that you can use IMMEDIATELY … and as a bonus for signing up, you’ll also receive my free, monthly Award-Winning Finding Time E-zine!

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Finding Time Using Carrots Not Consequences!

Posted on July 30, 2008 by Paula, under Time Boundaries.

Finding time by setting time boundaries can present interpersonal challenges. As we continue our series on time boundaries, let’s look at how to meet some of those challenges!

Rewards trump consequences.
When setting and maintaining time boundaries, it’s really, really important to remember that rewards for people, especially children, are far more effective than consequences.

When you’re asking people to respect your time boundaries, the key is to explain the reward when you explain the boundary. That will be far more effective for you than becoming angry at someone for interrupting you after you have asked them not to.

Follow-through is key.
Make sure to follow through with the reward and even note that you mentioned this previously. This helps to emphasize that you appreciate what they have done and are following through on your end of the bargain.

Rewards may help you, too!
Setting a reward also diminishes any feelings of discomfort or guilt you may feel as you work to be assertive and follow-through with maintaining your time boundaries.

Have you used rewards in setting time boundaries for yourself?

How has it worked for you?

Let’s explore time together …

Finding Time by Communicating Boundaries Clearly

Posted on July 29, 2008 by Paula, under Time Boundaries.

Finding time to ensure that you meet the many different kinds of demands that come your way each day can be very challenging and can test your time management skills, as you well know. If good time boundaries are key to your success, then you need to know that communicating those boundaries clearly and proactively can spell the difference between cooperation and rebellion!

Aim to communicate before, not after, the fact!If there are times when you are busy and do not want to be disturbed, I would encourage you to communicate a time boundary to your family or colleagues before-the-fact. To make it easy for those around you, come up with a visual signal that will tell them, “I’m busy right now … please don’t disturb.”

Concrete signals are great!Many people find that it works very well to put a scarf around the doorknob. This is a good signal because both children and adults can immediately recognize it. Be sure to be clear (especially with children) that when you remove the scarf, it’s OK to come in and reconnect.

Using concrete techniques and effective communication ahead of time enables you to establish and maintain compatible work or personal time boundaries.

Expand your time boundary baseline …With this in mind, what additional, important boundaries can you add to your list of existing boundaries?

Do you want to enlarge on your boundary baseline?

What was missing from your list? What stands out for you now?

Let’s explore time together …

Finding Your Time Boundary Baseline

Posted on July 28, 2008 by Paula, under Time Boundaries.

I hope your weekend was a good one, and this new week finds you refreshed and energized!

Time boundaries are key to values-driven time management.Finding time by setting time boundaries is a lifetime learning process. As we’ve seen, good boundaries are fundamental to managing your time. Likewise, ensuring that your time boundaries align with your values is very important.

Communication is key.Another crucial aspect of setting time boundaries is learning and practicing ways to communicate those boundaries to other people in a non-confrontational way. This is something that we’ll be exploring in future posts.

Taking stock …For now, though, let’s step back and take stock of where we are:

Do you have enough time for yourself and what you believe you need to do?

Do you feel stressed and pressed for time?

Have you ever taken a survey of your life’s boundaries?

Take out a sheet of paper. Think about the time boundaries you have set for yourself and list them on the paper. This is your baseline.

What does this tell you about your time boundaries? Do you need more?

Let’s explore time together …

For more Time Finding resources sign up for my free, twice-weekly Finding Time Tips. Each Tip is paired with a practical action step that you can use IMMEDIATELY … and as a bonus for signing up, you’ll also receive my free, monthly Award-Winning Finding Time E-zine! For another time resource, look for my articles at E-Zine Articles.com.

Finding Time with Focus and Clarity

Posted on July 24, 2008 by Paula, under Time Boundaries.

Finding time, as we’ve been discussing, often depends on your comfort with setting time boundaries. Likewise, your comfort with setting time boundaries has a lot to do with focus, clarity, and assertiveness.

Deepening and clarifying …Boundary-setting requires that you clarify your goals. It asks you to deepen your understanding of who you are and what you value. With this knowledge as your base, your next step is to learn to be a little more assertive than usual about your time.

Setting boundaries around time is not the same as setting boundaries when you are dealing with toxic people. Asserting a boundary with someone who is toxic is a self-protective measure. On some level, you are simply saying, “No.”

When No is a kind of Yes!Setting time boundaries, on the other hand, is a fundamentally proactive and affirmative activity. While a time boundary is also saying “No” to something, it is at heart an expansive enterprise. Your time boundary gives you the space to soar!

Time boundaries and your values …The most important thing to remember about time boundaries is that they enable you to use your time in a way that is consistent with your values; and they are an essential component in values-driven time management.

Let’s explore time together …

Finding Time By Setting Boundaries – The Journey Continues

Posted on July 23, 2008 by Paula, under Time Boundaries.

Finding time by developing your boundary-setting skills is a life-journey.

How is it working for you?

Maintaining your self-trust is key.If you’re like me, you’ve probably been talked out of a boundary or two along the way! When this happens, the key is to stop eroding your trust in yourself. How can you do this?

For starters, you must decide whether a particular boundary is negotiable or not. If it is negotiable, you can be flexible. If it isn’t, then it’s crucial that you stay true to yourself.

Keeping steady is not the same as being rigid.When a boundary isn’t negotiable, everyone in your world (including YOU) needs to understand that it probably won’t be modified in the short term. Saying that something is not negotiable doesn’t mean that it can never change – but it won’t be changed lightly or “on the fly.”

So, clearly ask people to respect your boundaries. At the same time, always assure them that you will be open to discussing and perhaps modifying those boundaries when your current time requirements change.

Let me know what happens as you continue this journey!

Let’s explore time together …

Finding Time By Setting Boundaries – More Giant Steps

Posted on July 22, 2008 by Paula, under Time Boundaries.

We have been exploring ways to find time by setting time boundaries. You had a great morning routine laid out, and I left you with a question: How do you enlist others’ cooperation when you’re working at finding time?

Begin with “I” …I strongly suggest that you begin with an “I message.” Explain how important the routine is to you. Maybe even share some of the benefits you feel from it.

Ask for help …Next, request help by asking that you not be interrupted. Framing it this way allows people to feel helpful and supportive, rather than left out.

Be ready to say No …The devil is in the details! No interruptions means … no last minute requests for information, lunch, construction paper, lost socks … you get the picture.

This is the hard part. When disruptions occur … and you can be sure that they will … you need to quietly and consistently remind the other person of your established boundary.

Try this.

What happens? I’d love to hear how it goes for you.

Let’s explore time together …

Finding Time By Setting Boundaries – Giant Steps

Posted on July 21, 2008 by Paula, under Time Boundaries.

Congratulations – are you getting more comfortable with setting time boundaries for yourself?

Finding time when you need a longer span of time to accomplish your tasks can test the boundary-setting skills that you’re developing!

Suppose you have a certain routine that gives you an energetic start to your day. Your routine includes:

Getting up;

Exercising and/or meditating;

Taking a shower;

Dressing;

Making and eating breakfast; and

Leaving the house in time to get to work (or do whatever you have planned for the day).

That’s a great routine, and it takes a good chunk of morning time to move through it!

If you live alone, your challenge is different (and probably simpler) than if you live with others. Many of us need to ask for cooperation from others (spouse, children, friends, etc.) in order to accomplish this routine each day. So there really are two issues here – creating time boundaries and asking for help!

What’s a good way to address both issues?

What works for you? I’d love to hear your ideas!

Let’s explore time together …

Finding Time by Setting Time Boundaries – Small Steps First

Posted on July 18, 2008 by Paula, under Time Boundaries.

Finding time to live your life fully and address your time choices proactively can be a challenge, as you well know!

Time boundaries are powerful and practical tools for finding time. Successful and effective people are often very skilled at creating time boundaries … and you can be, too!

Start small … reap big rewards!If time boundaries are new to you, start out slowly. Don’t set yourself up by biting off more than you can chew. Setting your first time boundary may feel uncomfortable, but keep at it. The rewards are concrete and powerful!

First, set a small time boundary for yourself. See how that feels. Make it something that appeals to you, but isn’t too disruptive to others … something like taking quiet time at the start or end of the day – or going for a walk at noontime. The key is to start small and build from there.

Try it this weekend!How does it feel to carve out even five minutes for yourself?

Remember to start small, and keep at it! Have a great weekend, and drop me a line … I’d love to hear how your experiment goes.

Let’s explore time together …

Finding Time by Setting Time Boundaries – Step One

Posted on July 17, 2008 by Paula, under Time Boundaries.

The last time I wrote, we were exploring proactive vs. reactive time choices. We had just touched on the subject of time boundaries.

Time boundaries can create space …Setting time boundaries begins with a state of mind. Like the edging and mulch around your garden, time boundaries can create the space necessary for good things to take root, grow, and thrive.

Step 1 – Believe!Before you can set your own boundaries around time choices, you have to believe that it’s an important and useful thing for you to do. If you don’t buy into the idea of time boundaries yourself, it’ll definitely be a hard sell for the other people in your life!

So how does setting realistic time boundaries for yourself fit with your values about how you live and work?

How might setting time boundaries change your relationships with your friends and family?

And how might it change your relationship with time?

Let’s explore time together …