The Time Finder with Paula Eder
The way you use your time is the way you live your life.
Archive for May, 2009
Finding Time to Be Thankful for Little as Well as for Much
Posted on May 29, 2009 by Paula, under Time and Values.
Finding time for gratitude is something that we’ve written about in the past, here on The Time Finder. When we express gratitude, what do we express it for? Is gratitude about size or quantity or something else entirely? If you make me dinner, it seems obvious that I will thank you. If you give me a drink of water on a hot day, do I do the same? I would — but perhaps some would not.
Why is that?
Today I’d like to focus on an aspect of gratitude that is summed up in the following proverb:
Who does not thank for little will not thank for much. Estonian Proverb
Gratitude has to do, not so much with the actions of others, but with the expectations that we have about life.
If I expect others to give me what I need or want, then when they do so, I’m not so much grateful as satisfied that my expectations are being fulfilled. Conversely, if I do not carry that expectation then I am frequently and pleasantly surprised by kind or generous gestures … and I feel grateful for them.
On the flip side of this coin, if I expect others to give me what I need or want, when they do NOT do so, I am likely to feel let down and disappointed. This is a big energy drain. If I do not harbor that unrealistic expectation, I am not setting myself up for disappointment.
Approaching each moment with minimal expectations helps us to notice the small and large gifts that come our way almost constantly in our lives. The key is not about the size of the other person’s gesture but about the expectations that we bring to our lives.
The attitude of gratitude enriches our moments and relieves us of the perpetual disappointment that unrealistic expectations bring.
Do you find time to feel grateful and to say thank you? I’d love to hear!
What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up and download The New Finding Time Boundary Template. It’s FREE, and when you sign up you will also receive (if you don’t already) my FREE, weekly Finding Time Tips and my FREE, monthly Award-Winning Finding Time E-zine!
Let’s explore time together …
Other Posts You Might Enjoy!
Finding Time to Say No and Empower Your Yes!
Posted on May 28, 2009 by Paula, under Time Boundaries.
Do you sometimes have trouble finding time to follow through on the tasks that are the most important to you? When it comes to time management, do your top priorities keep slipping down on your to do list?
Maybe learning to feel more comfortable with saying no will help.
In our culture, saying no is often seen as a negative — as a holding back from life and its wealth of experiences and opportunities. That disinclination to saying no, coupled with the thousands of choices that present themselves to us can lead to a kind of paralysis.
Saying yes to everything will get you stuck in a morass of overwhelm very quickly. On the other hand, saying no can help you focus your energies more effectively and manage your time choices more efficiently. Reframing your “no” as a positive step toward having time boundaries and following through on goals and commitments is extremely empowering.
So, as choices come your way over the next few days, pause before you respond. Think about your priorities and your boundaries. As I note in one of my Finding Time Tips:
If you can’t say no, maybe you don’t know where your boundaries are.
Your no makes room for your yeses. Your no creates the space in which you can move toward your goal. This is a simple fact that many of us tend to forget. Time is finite. For every big “yes” that eventually will represent a goal accomplished, there need to be lots of smaller no’s that help build toward that success.
Sometimes these no’s represent losses — the proverbial “road not taken.” It is important to acknowledge that consciously and honor your feelings about this. The choice to say no will not always be an easy one. However, it is key to remember that it can always be positive and empowering for you!
Have you found time to say no in service of your yeses? I’d love to hear how that works for you, and what you discover!
What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up and download The New Finding Time Boundary Template. It’s FREE, and when you sign up you will also receive (if you don’t already) my FREE, weekly Finding Time Tips and my FREE, monthly Award-Winning Finding Time E-zine!
Let’s explore time together …
Other Posts You Might Enjoy!
Find Time to See the Choices You Make about Your Time and Your Money
Posted on May 27, 2009 by Paula, under Time Choices.
Finding time to manage your choices about your time and your money are two key building blocks in creating a satisfying and fulfilling life. Yesterday we explored some ways that hidden patterns and beliefs can affect those choices.
Today I’d like to, again, build on one of my recent articles. We’ll look at 10 questions you can ask yourself, to help you see your patterns around time and money.
The seeing is key! Once you can see them, you may want to build on patterns that are helpful — or make different choices about patterns that get in your way.
Ask yourself these questions. Try using a journal to record your answers … and do this more than once.
Time Management Questions:
1. What do I always get done?
2. Where does time get away from me?
3. What interferes with my completing certain tasks?
4. How much more time during the week do I need to handle essentials?
5. What openings in my schedule can I create to enhance my progress?
Money Management Questions:
1. What expenses do I always meet?
2. Which purchases place a strain on my budget?
3. What do I do without, and how do I feel about it?
4. How much more money do I need every week to cover high priority expenses?
5. Where can I economize to set aside money?
Work to be aware of any censorship from your inner critic. Time and money can both be very sensitive subject areas. The inner critic is often involved as you explore them. This sub-self can definitely put a damper on any internal dialogue that you are trying to initiate.
Getting the basic information about your time and money choices is a necessary prelude to making any kind of meaningful change. As you expand your self knowledge in these areas, you will be amazed both at what you discover and at what becomes possible!
Have you found time to explore your patterns and choices about time and money? I’d love to hear what you discover!
What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up and download The New Finding Time Boundary Template. It’s FREE, and when you sign up you will also receive (if you don’t already) my FREE, weekly Finding Time Tips and my FREE, monthly Award-Winning Finding Time E-zine!
Let’s explore time together …
Other Posts You Might Enjoy!
Finding Time to Navigate Through the Icebergs!
Posted on May 26, 2009 by Paula, under Time Choices.
Finding time to deal with financial issues is a huge challenge at any time, and particularly these days. I recently published an article at E-zine Articles.com titled Time Management Tools – 7 Tips to Banish Blocks to Managing Money and Time that offers some tips for tough times.
I’d like to focus on just one area this morning — what I call ‘the iceberg principle.’ When you come upon an issue relating to your choices about time or money, it’s a good rule of thumb to assume that you’re not aware of the root of the issue at the outset, and that, indeed, 7/8 of it is invisible to you, just like an iceberg.
The hidden base of your iceberg may reveal surprises. Problems in almost any area of your life will eventually manifest in your schedule and in your budget. So to revise difficult money and time choices, explore and chart the submerged 7/8 of the situation. Mastering your time and your money challenges entails confronting how you approach freedom, responsibility, and relationships.
The work of exploring your feelings and choices is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself. It is also an area that is fraught with obstacles and impediments, including critical messages and ancient assumptions. When navigating in and around icebergs, it’s always a good idea to operate on two levels.
- First, you need to make sure that your ship stays afloat. If finances are the issue confronting you, deal with your current situation in as clear and rational a way as you can.
- Concurrently, set aside time for exploring, uncovering, and chipping away at the unseen parts of the iceberg. This will help you to avoid future accidents. It’s the deeper work that can be so revealing, freeing and empowering, if you set aside some time for it.
When you’re doing this deeper work, be sure that you “return” to your present-day ship after each exploration. You want to be seeing clearly and not working off of old messages while you steer yourself through the ice floes.
Have you found time to explore your choices about time and money? I’d love to hear what you think!
What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up and download The New Finding Time Boundary Template. It’s FREE, and when you sign up you will also receive (if you don’t already) my FREE, weekly Finding Time Tips and my FREE, monthly Award-Winning Finding Time E-zine!
Let’s explore time together …
Other Posts You Might Enjoy!
Finding Time for Some Cyber Tools on Memorial Day
Posted on May 25, 2009 by Paula, under Time and Technology.
I hope that you find time to relax today, if it’s a holiday for you! Here in New Hampshire it looks like it is going to be a stunningly beautiful day. All the neighborhood birds are trilling as the morning light illuminates the new green leaves. The Monday world is awakening, and it really does feel like we are turning toward a new season.
This Cyber Monday I wanted to share with you a couple of items that have come to my attention over the course of the past week. I thought that they were interesting – and hope you do as well.
The first is Blackle. It was developed by Heap Media after a blog post by Mark Ontkush on ecoIron that suggested that if high-traffic websites used black as their backgrounds, this could create significant energy-saving. I’m not sure the black background works for me – but it’s an interesting concept.
The other tool is one that I came upon because there was such a stir about it last week on Twitter. It’s a tool known as WolframAlpha … developed by Stephen Wolfram. According to Michael Quoc on factoidz, this is “an answer-retrieval system much like Google, but instead of helping you find web pages as Google does, WA provides you with direct answers to specific queries. For example it will answer math questions (like “134 + 123 * 993?) or statistics (like “mean {3,6,4,10,20}”), nutrition (like “vitamin A in one lb lettuce”), geography (like “zip 60637?), and many other categories. It’s actually very similar to Google shortcuts (simple answers provided for queries like “weather new york” or “3 pounds to kilograms”), but greatly expanded in terms of query types and data sets available.”
Here is an overview of topics currently covered in WolframAlpha and data elements available within each topic category. I have explored it a bit and found it to be an intriguing tool. Try entering your birth date, for example … or the name of your hometown. It will be interesting to see how WolframAlpha evolves over the coming months and years!
If you find time to explore these tools, I’d love to hear what you think!
What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up and download The New Finding Time Boundary Template. It’s FREE, and when you sign up you will also receive (if you don’t already) my FREE, weekly Finding Time Tips and my FREE, monthly Award-Winning Finding Time E-zine!
Let’s explore time together …
Other Posts You Might Enjoy!
Find Time to Find Perspective
Posted on May 22, 2009 by Paula, under Time and Values.
When you are under stress, discouraged, overwhelmed, or anxious, finding time to find perspective is always a good choice.
Yesterday I found a wonderful quotation from an unknown source that reframes an old adage and introduces a reflective question that I’d never thought of.
Is the glass half empty, half full, or twice as large as it needs to be? ~Author Unknown
Particularly these days, as our economy goes through its downturn and we all adjust to our changing financial worlds, isn’t this an interesting way to think about the proverbial glass? Indeed, the new option that is introduced here is that, in addition to deciding whether to feel hopeful or discouraged, we can also make choices about whether or not to adjust our expectations.
The question brings me to think about my values, and offers me an opportunity to widen and deepen my perspective. I step back and look with new eyes at what is familiar and may have become rote. Here is a chance to change!
I love how something like this reminds us, so creatively, that there are multitudes of ways to look at things.
- How big is your glass?
- Are you laboring under overlarge expectations?
How do you find time to find perspective in your life? I’d love to hear!
What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up and download The New Finding Time Boundary Template. It’s FREE, and when you sign up you will also receive (if you don’t already) my FREE, weekly Finding Time Tips and my FREE, monthly Award-Winning Finding Time E-zine!
Let’s explore time together …
Other Posts You Might Enjoy!
Finding Time to Welcome Your Seasonal Chores
Posted on May 21, 2009 by Paula, under Time Management Skills.
It is expected to be scorching hot here in the Northeast today — the hottest day so far in this new season. Did you find time to put your winter clothes away before the temperatures hit 90° this year … or did you get caught wearing wool?
A day like today prompts thoughts about seasonal chores and how we manage them. No matter how you feel about these tasks, they regularly roll around, requiring our time and attention.
One of my fondest memories as a youngster was the twice yearly “clothes swap.” We were lucky to have a storage space where there was room enough to put away some of our clothes. Each year — once in the spring and once in the fall — my mother would initiate the swap! I would then trade one season’s clothes for the next — storing away what I wouldn’t be using, getting rid of things that I had outgrown, and anticipating with excitement the coming months and their seasonal pleasures!
Seasonal chores represent tasks that must be accomplished at particular times each year. They can be more than that, as well. Rituals such as the “clothes swap” provide markers as our years unfold. They offer opportunities to address changing needs and anticipate coming events, as well as moments to reflect on changes that time has wrought. These regular chores also create memories of their own, as they become part and parcel of the rhythm of our lives.
Like the holiday traditions that you create, seasonal chores can be occasions for a kind of celebration. Framed that way, they are easier to welcome and you can experience them with greater depth and openness. That enhances the entire experience, and makes it easier to enjoy and complete these chores the next time they roll around!
What kinds of seasonal chores do you do at this time of year? How do you feel about them? Are there ways that you could welcome them more fully and, perhaps, enhance your experience? I’d love to hear!
What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up and download The New Finding Time Boundary Template. It’s FREE, and when you sign up you will also receive (if you don’t already) my FREE, weekly Finding Time Tips and my FREE, monthly Award-Winning Finding Time E-zine!
Let’s explore time together …
Other Posts You Might Enjoy!
Finding Time with Temporary Time Boundaries
Posted on May 20, 2009 by Paula, under Time Boundaries.
Yesterday we discussed how using time boundaries can help you stay focused in the moment, even when something you are looking forward to (or dreading) is on your horizon. Today I’d like to look at how time boundaries can help you focus and prioritize your everyday tasks.
Think of time boundaries as choices that you make. In order to say yes to one thing you need to say no to other things in any given moment. If the “other things” are tasks or activities that you enjoy, then saying “no” to them can be a challenge. When I need to do this, I find it helpful to remember that the boundaries I set are not forever. I will be able to come back to those things — just not right now.
When I’ve written about time boundaries and children, I’ve encouraged you to make it clear to children that the boundary won’t be forever, and that you’ll do something fun at a specified later time. This gives children something to look forward to, and helps them to be patient as they wait for your “boundaried time” to be over.
Messages that are clarifying for others are also often very useful as self-talk. Being unambiguous about the span of a time boundary – and what will follow – allows us to not fight the limit. We can relax and focus on what we need to, knowing that later we will be able to come back to the activity that we are delaying.
In her post “off-limits until …” Janice Russell sums this up nicely, noting:
Organizing is easier if you set boundaries. Some examples might include only keeping the number of books that fit into your bookshelves, only keeping the amount of paper that fits into your file cabinet (a 4-drawer cabinet holds 18,000 sheets of paper), or saying “no” next time someone asks you to volunteer for a committee. Other examples include making certain activities “off-limits” until other tasks have been completed.
Explore her website and blog at Minding Your Matters for some great organizing tips!
This moment is what you have — how do you manage your time boundaries to enhance your productivity? I’d love to hear!
What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up and download The New Finding Time Boundary Template. It’s FREE, and when you sign up you will also receive (if you don’t already) my FREE, weekly Finding Time Tips and my FREE, monthly Award-Winning Finding Time E-zine!
Let’s explore time together …
Other Posts You Might Enjoy!
Find Time To Be in the Moment Anytime
Posted on May 19, 2009 by Paula, under Time Boundaries.
Finding time to be present to each moment when you are either looking forward to an event, or dreading one, can be a big time challenge.
It’s not unusual to have something on the horizon that you are anticipating, is it? But if it overshadows the present, then you are losing your now to your future.
If I have an event two days in the future that I am looking forward to, how do I manage my time until it arrives? I have 48 precious hours. Time is absolute and concrete. No matter how we feel about what an hour holds, it will always be 60 minutes — and those minutes will always each include 60 seconds. There is no changing that. I don’t want to be simply marking time while I wait for my future to arrive!
This is an area where time boundaries can be very helpful. Think of your boundary as a way to keep your eyes and your energy focused on the moment. It may help to think of this as an actual, concrete fence or wall that you can’t see beyond. You might also think of your future event as a reward for focusing on the now! This will keep you in the present – and you’ll be doubly rewarded!
If, conversely, the future event is something that you are dreading then your challenge is twofold:
- You don’t want to be in denial about your future, nor do you want it to ruin your present. Be sure that you have done everything that you need to do to prepare for what’s coming. Then bring your focus back to the moment. Each time it wanders, gently bring it back.
- Devise small rewards for yourself, so that as you prepare for your event, and as you focus on the present moment, you give yourself positive reinforcement. This may have the added benefit of helping you to change your perspective on the event that you are dreading.
Living in the moment is one of the greatest gifts that we can give ourselves.
This moment is what you have — how do you stay focused and present to it? I’d love to hear!
What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up and download The New Finding Time Boundary Template. It’s FREE, and when you sign up you will also receive (if you don’t already) my FREE, weekly Finding Time Tips and my FREE, monthly Award-Winning Finding Time E-zine!
Let’s explore time together …
Other Posts You Might Enjoy!
Find Time for Retweetist, Backtweets, and Repeets on Cyber Monday
Posted on May 18, 2009 by Paula, under Time and Technology.
Are you finding time for getting your week off to a good start this Cyber Monday? I hope so!
I’ve got three Twitter tools to share with you today. They can all help you monitor Retweets and links. Basically, they’ll help you know how people are responding to your tweets and to any links that you share in your Twitter feed. They also can help keep you abreast of trending topics on Twitter.
The first tool is called backtweets. What this Twitter tool tracks are links that are shared on Twitter. You can type in any link you want, and backtweets will show you all the tweets in which that link appears, starting with the most recent. If you want to see whether other people are linking to your site or your blog posts, this is a great tool to use. You can use it to check other people’s links as well – or to view popular topics.
Repeets keeps track of popular retweets. The way it works is you enter a twitter username and then Repeets will give you a list of Retweeted items. There is a number to the left of each item in the list, and if you click on that number you get a breakdown of the actual Retweets. This is a nice, quick way to view the people who are Retweeting your content.
Retweetist is similar to Repeets. It will give you a running list of your retweets, and in addition, at the top of the screen, Retweetist gives you a chart reflecting your Retweet trends over time. This gives you a great overview of how popular your content is!
To give you an example of how this works, here are links to the data for Mashable (a very frequently retweeted member of the Twitterverse) in two of these three different venues:
- backtweets, and
Each tool offers useful information (in different formats and configurations) for tracking how your Tweets and links are being shared in the Twitterverse.
Do you find tools like these helpful as you expand your use of Twitter and its many applications? I’d love to hear!
What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up and download The New Finding Time Boundary Template. It’s FREE, and when you sign up you will also receive (if you don’t already) my FREE, weekly Finding Time Tips and my FREE, monthly Award-Winning Finding Time E-zine!
Let’s explore time together …
Other Posts You Might Enjoy!
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