2009 December | The Time Finder with Paula Eder

The Time Finder with Paula Eder

The way you use your time is the way you live your life.

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Find Time to Ring in the New

Posted on December 31, 2009 by Paula, under Time After Time.

Finding time to welcome newness into our lives can be a wonderfully expansive, deepening, and, yes, renewing experience.

Our entire culture celebrates the coming of a new year with reflections on the previous 365 days and then with hopes, plans and resolutions for the coming year. This year the transition feels even more momentous because we are marking the end of one decade and the beginning of another.

While these benchmarks and touchstones are, in some sense, manufactured (Have you noticed the cottage industry in “Best of the Decade” lists?), they also provide us with wonderful opportunities to pause, get our bearings, think about our values and priorities, and make new beginnings.

And what I’d like to remind you of today is that we each have the capacity to do that … to pause, get our bearings, think about our priorities, and make a new beginning any time that we want to. We needn’t wait for the passing of a year, or a decade.

Each morning, we could choose to enter the day in that way. Or each night as we go to bed. Or every Saturday afternoon.

It’s in each of our hands to live as deeply and as consciously as we want to. We don’t have to wait ’til New Year’s rolls around, or the next blue moon!

So here’s to ringing in the new, whenever our spirits move us to renew our energies and commitments. Do you have rituals of reflection and rejuvenation in your life? Would you like to include them in your repertoire in the coming year? Why not begin today? And let me know how it goes – I’d love to hear!

What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up and download The New Finding Time Personal Boundary Template. It’s FREE, and when you sign up you will also receive (if you don’t already) my FREE, weekly Finding Time Tips and my FREE, monthly Award-Winning Finding Time E-zine!

Let’s explore time together …

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Find Time for You – MORE than Once in a Blue Moon

Posted on December 30, 2009 by Paula, under Self-Care Time.

As a reader of The Time Finder Blog or my articles at ezinearticles.com you know that Self Care is something that I view as a responsibility – NOT a luxury or self-indulgence.

Self care is something to attend to every day. It is most DEFINITELY NOT something to pursue only once in a blue moon – but all too often, that is the case.

You are probably very familiar with the scenarios. Your To Do List is overflowing and there are people making additional requests of you and your time. You want to do just-one-more-thing and then, you tell yourself, you’ll journal or meditate or go for a walk.

Only that “one-more-thing” turns into three, and before you know it you are falling into bed, exhausted – having never paused or taken a breath – and STILL feeling overwhelmed.

When I work with my clients on this pattern in their lives, they find it helpful to step back and explore the secondary gains that they reap from it. For many, it comes down to issues about responsibility and choice. Rather than making clear choices about their priorities (a very self-defining step to take) they let the scarcity of time force their choices (thereby relieving them of that responsibility).

This often comes from the erroneous idea that one’s own priorities (including self care) are somehow selfish and that, conversely, suffering through constant feelings of overwhelm is somehow virtuous. This mindset leads to a perennial state of feeling either martyred or victimized, because life always asks for more than we can deliver. It’s a mindset that also takes our time choices and time priorities out of our hands – an escape from responsibility, but also a sure set up for dissatisfaction.

I’m excited that this December we’ll experience the unusual phenomenon of a Blue Moon. It’s something that always pulls me up short, and ours is tomorrow, in fact. The next one won’t occur until August of 2012!

What could be more fortuitous – a Blue Moon on the Eve of the New Year! As you pause to appreciate this phenomenon, may you think of it as a touchstone … a reminder to amp up your self care (AND your self-responsibility) in 2010. Be good to yourself more than once in a blue moon … you deserve it, AND it’s your responsibility!

Oh, and please drop me a line before the next Blue Moon … I’d love to hear how this goes for you!

Let’s explore time together …

Find Time to Sort Through the Gifts and Wrapping Paper

Posted on December 29, 2009 by Paula, under Time After Time.

Finding time to reflect, especially during busy times, can be difficult. But the rewards offered by moments of reflection vastly outnumber the challenges of finding them!

The holiday season is an excellent case in point. For many it is an extremely busy, emotionally laden, and sometimes interpersonally complicated time of year. Your moments are packed and layered, and there is often little time to simply breathe, let alone savor or explore each one as it passes. The time can look like a busy blur as you arrive at the other end of this string of days.

That’s why finding moments to reflect is so important. It brings the blur back into focus. This is vital, first for fully savoring and appreciating the times of your life, and second, for making adjustments and taking care of yourself as you navigate your days.

Finding time to reflect during the holidays is especially important because it can be such an emotionally laden time. Holidays past often affect everyone’s perceptions and expectations and can heighten feelings in sometimes unexpected ways. Past experiences can deepen and enrich our days. When we are unaware of their impact, they can also affect things in ways that are mystifying at first. Pausing to reflect can help illuminate past experiences that may be affecting our present enjoyment.

The huge and pervasive cultural expectations that the holidays carry can also affect our experiences of them. If you emerge from this time with a vague feeling of disappointment, it may be a good idea to slow down and take a look at what you were expecting. Are you comparing your holiday to that warm Hallmark ad that you saw on TV? Chances are good that that’s a set up to leave you feeling let down!

So, as we pause between the December Holidays and the start of the New Year, I invite you to reflect on your days so far. Not the whole year (that will come later) but just how you navigated these holidays.

What gifts did the time bring?

What challenges?

Are there things you’ll do differently next year?

I’d suggest writing these brief reflections down and saving them on your computer – or someplace where you can easily retrieve them for next year’s holidays. Then, when the time comes, you’ll be able to build on them.

Is this something that you already do … or would like to try? Drop me a line – I’d love to hear how it goes for you!

Let’s explore time together …

Find Time with YOUR Favorite Tools on Cyber Monday

Posted on December 28, 2009 by Paula, under Time and Technology.

Finding time for what matters most involves making frequent choices about priorities. Since our time is limited and our options are not, there is always choice involved as we move through our days.

If you spend time on-line (either for business or for exploring the internet and networking with friends and family) you know that there are lots of efficiencies to be had. Daily, it seems, new tools and applications are being offered up – many of them free.

There are better and faster ways to Tweet, for example, and plugins for your blog that will do all sorts of nifty things. There are applications to integrate your social networking sites, and hundreds of dashboards and iPhone tools and … you name it. It’s like walking into a huge cafeteria of software applications – the choices are tempting … and endless.

If you are not a reviewer of social media applications, then my advice to you is to certainly explore new tools as you have the time and inclination. However, more important than exploring is settling on one, two or three that you are comfortable with and using them more or less exclusively. Learn their in’s and out’s in depth, and practice ’til you know them like the proverbial back of your hand!

You lose efficiency if you are constantly searching for the best application (and therefore never really becoming familiar with any single one). Consider: A less-than-state-of-the-art Twitter application or dashboard that you know well will serve you better than constantly changing over to the newest and/or best.

In addition, the more popular applications and dashboards are usually tweaked and upgraded as time goes on and these tools evolve. So you can probably count on your tried and true dashboard to keep up with the times (rather than your needing to jump ship and go to something newer).

How do you look for efficiencies on the web? Do you look for the latest, or work on becoming more adept with the tools at hand? Some combination of the two? I’d love to hear!

Let’s explore time together …

Find Time for the Darkness and the Light

Posted on December 24, 2009 by Paula, under Time and Energy.

Finding time to celebrate and welcome the light is what this holiday time is about in northern climes, no matter what your specific tradition may be. You can see this in the Menorah, the lights on the Christmas Tree, the Winter Solstice bonfire, and the many other traditional evocations of light at this darkest time of year.

In ancient times, the experience of the days shortening and the light seemingly withdrawing from the earth was a frightening one. Imagine what it would have felt like, having no idea that what you were experiencing was part of a cycle – that the sun would return. Those increasingly darker nights must have been terrifying!

Even now, many feel the effects of the longer nights and dearth of daylight, sometimes feeling depressed, lethargic, and generally being less productive and energetic. It can be a challenging time of year, and it is no accident that so many festivals and celebrations are in play now. For generations, they have helped people get through this time. What helps you through?

Here are three things that I find very useful and energizing to remember during the dark times:

The light will return. This is one phase of a cycle and you can count on its changing.

There are many things that the dark has to teach. This can be a time of rich inwardness. Embracing the dark will bring you gifts untold!

Remember that there are lights you can ignite whenever you choose to. Appreciate yourself with nurturing messages and see the glow that follows … it will illuminate your path!

And now, as we round out the month of December here in the northern hemisphere, I am reminded that the light is returning even as I write this. Yet, there are still dark nights ahead. I leave you with this favorite poem, along with my good wishes for this winter holiday time:

To Know the Dark

To go in the dark with a light is to know the light,
To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight,
and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings,
and is travelled by dark feet and dark wings.

Wendell Berry

How do you feel about the dark? The light? Is your energy affected by their shifts and changes? How do you explore the dark and bring light into your life? I’d love to hear!

Let’s explore time together …

Find Time to Give Yourself the Gift of Nurturing in All Seasons

Posted on December 23, 2009 by Paula, under Self-Care Time.

Finding time for self care is always a challenge, as it’s so often the first thing that we drop from our to do lists.

I’ve encouraged you to think of self care as a responsibility, and for many, that’s a helpful perspective. You could also think of self care as a gift that you give yourself. (Indeed, why not be generous and caring with yourself, as you are with others?) Time to care for yourself could also be a regular reward for accomplishing necessary tasks.

However you choose to work it into your life, it’s very important that you follow through and include self care in your regular repertoire. What is most vital is not the amount of time that you spend on self care – but the quality of that time AND the follow-through (i.e. that you come to know that you can count on yourself)!

Once you have self care established as a regular part of your routine, the fun part is deciding how to use that time. You know yourself better than anyone! I suggest that you start generating a list of things that you find nurturing. Be open and uncritical about any/all ideas that come to mind. You may surprise yourself.

Once you have your list, you can pick and choose, depending on your inclination and the time you have available. I suggest that you plan your self-nurturing activity ahead – either at night or first thing in the morning. That helps to solidify your commitment to following through – as well as giving you something concrete to look forward to.

In her blog Designing a Passionate Life, my friend and colleague Paula Harvey has written a post about “Nurturing Yourself During the Holidays.” You’ll find some interesting ideas for self-nurturing activities there.

Do you regularly build in time for self care in your life? What activities do you find nurturing? I’d love to hear about what you discover as you explore the power of regular self care in your days!

Let’s explore time together …

Find Time for the Gift Of Time this Holiday Season

Posted on December 22, 2009 by Paula, under Time After Time.

Finding time may be at the top of nearly everyone’s list of priorities.

Whether it’s finding time for a project or solitude or sleep … finding time for a cherished goal … or finding time to relax with family and friends, TIME is highly valued – and often extremely scarce.

Not only that, but as scarce as time is, money may be equally so during these difficult days.

Scarce time and scarce money are just a couple of the MANY great reasons to be creative with your gift-giving during the holidays, at birthday time, and on other occasions. I highly recommend that you consider giving a unique and personal gift of your time to a loved one (or two) this year. Try it and see what kind of response you get!

Gifts of time are wonderful because they can be so individualized. Do you have a friend who needs help with household chores? You could give him or her 2 hours of your time, to help out.

How about your Cousin Amanda who has trouble relaxing? If she lives nearby, you could give her a certificate good for dinner and a movie with you. Yes, you’d be paying for her meal and entertainment – but it’s really the time together that makes it special.

The possibilities are endless, and can be as specific or as general as you like. You can also make them things that you enjoy and seldom give yourself time to do. I had one friend who gave the gift of 3 hikes in New Hampshire’s White Mountains to a good friend of hers. It was a wonderful gift to both of them!

For some creative gift ideas to jump start your own thinking, check out my article at ezinearticles.com titled “Time Management Tips – 3 Ways to Transform Free Time Into Valuable Gifts.”

Have you given gifts of time to friends and family? Have you received them? Which was your favorite? Do you have any planned for this year? I’d love to hear about it!

Let’s explore time together …

Find Time with Posterous

Posted on December 21, 2009 by Paula, under Time and Technology.

Finding time to share information as widely as possible on the web is a challenge – and technology can enhance your efforts considerably. Last week on twitip Calum Henderson shared a post titled Use Posterous to Easily Enhance Your Tweeting. I was very intrigued by the possibilities, and asked my VA to explore Posterous further.

Here’s what she found:

Posterous is an extremely easy platform for getting all manner of material onto the web. Basically, you use e-mail to send your material to post@posterous.com and you’re up and running. You can post written material, photos, video, audio – pretty much anything. There are lots of other ways to share your content, for example, there’s a bookmarklet that you can add to your browser’s toolbar, which makes it even easier to post quickly to your Posterous blog!

An especially nice feature of Posterous is that you can set it up to link to lots of other social networking platforms. My VA has connected my account to Twitter, Facebook, Scribd and Linkedin at this point – and there are lots of other possibilities! For example, if you like to post photos, Posterous will create a slide show of your pictures. You can attach pdf’s, word documents, MP3’s, etc. to your e-mails and they will be accessible on Posterous.

We found a video review of Posterous on You-Tube and used the bookmarklet to post it to The Time Finder on Posterous – and Voila! Not only does this immediately appear in our Posterous feed, but also on Twitter, Facebook, and Linkedin. (If there were an attachment, it would also be uploaded to Scribd.)

What could be easier? The possibilities are very exciting – so try exploring Posterous. What do you think? I’d love to hear about what you discover as you explore the power of this tool for yourself!

Let’s explore time together …

Finding Time for the Attitude of Gratitude: 5 Tips and Benefits!

Posted on December 17, 2009 by Paula, under Time and Energy.

Finding time to feel your gratitude and to look at life from that expansive and deepening vantage point is always time well spent! Not only does the attitude of gratitude connect each of us with our worlds in a way that is filled with warmth and meaning, but it also profoundly affects the energy that we bring to every single moment in our days. Gratitude creates an ever-deepening spiral that enhances our moments and ripples out warmly into our worlds!

Here are 5 tips and insights that I shared in a previous issue of The Finding Time E-zine. They highlight the singular importance of gratitude for creating and nurturing meaning in each of our lives:

Be your gratitude.
Gratitude is about the totality of your life and how you view the world. It is a specific lens through which you make meaning, and it enables you to appreciate the opportunities that you have been given.

As you appreciate yourself, so can you appreciate others.
You are the base on your life. And you can only give what you have. Imagine a well full of water. It is easy to draw from that source. Now imagine a dry well. It has no water; therefore, it can’t give any. Allow time in your day to acknowledge your humanity, and warmly validate your efforts. Pay attention to the messages you give yourself – they are so important!

Let others know that you appreciate them.
Acknowledging others is a concrete way to let them know that you truly see them – AND that you open-handedly appreciate what they have done. Make sure your validations are specific. For example, “Thanks for reviewing my report. Your feedback was very helpful, and I appreciate the time that you took.”

Like attracts like.
This is a fundamental principal of the Law of Attraction. You receive back what you put out. If you are negative and critical, then that energy enters the universe and attracts more of the same back to you. And by the same token, if you are grateful and loving, then the universe sends gratitude and love back to you. Your conscious efforts to cultivate gratitude prepare the ground for life’s gifts to take root.

Gratitude is an antidote to fear and self-criticism.
It is virtually impossible to be grateful and afraid, or grateful and self-critical, at the same time. When you experience gratitude, you experience a sense of satisfaction, of wholeness and of completion.

Have you experienced the benefits of gratitude in your life? What are you grateful for right now? I’d love to hear about what you discover as you explore the power of gratitude for yourself!

What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up and download The New Finding Time Boundary Template. It’s FREE, and when you sign up you will also receive (if you don’t already) my FREE, weekly Finding Time Tips and my FREE, monthly Award-Winning Finding Time E-zine!

Let’s explore time together …

Find Time for 3 Important Holiday Reminders!

Posted on December 16, 2009 by Paula, under Time After Time.

Finding time for what matters most is a challenge year ’round – and can be even more daunting during the holiday season. Here are 3 pieces of helpful advice for this very special time of year:

My friend and colleague Wendy Battles, The Clean Eating Coach, advises pacing ourselves in her post titled Make Your Health a Priority During the Holidays. Her questions are right on the money:

What are you doing to make the holidays joyful and fun yet a chance to wind down a bit and take care of yourself? What would need to shift for you to put more focus on yourself and getting some rest as you prepare for 2010?

Next up, Melissa McCreery addresses the challenge of making helpful food choices during this tempting time, and offers 7 Ways to Avoid Overeating When the Holiday Treats Are EVERYWHERE! Here’s Tip #3, for example:

Don’t go hungry. You’ll eat more and have less impulse control. Make sure that you have healthy and filling options around. I know you are busy, but take the time to pack a healthy lunch.

Last, but not least, I wanted to reprise a Time Finder post from last year about the importance of being fully and warmly “in” each of your moments and letting yourself experience the depth of what I call Strong Time.

Anything that causes us to pause and contemplate, I think, offers an opportunity to connect with strong time – with the deepest experience of a moment. Strong time is not about duration but about depth. Getting to strong time often involves some form of tradition or ritual – and these can be family rituals, rituals involving religious traditions, or simple, personal practices, like meditation, that connect you with your heart and the deepest parts of your life.

Here’s the full post, which is titled Find Time to Experience Strong Time.

As the holidays draw closer, I encourage you to set some priorities for yourself and then develop plans that will help you realize them. What challenges will you face? What are your goals for this time?

I’d love to hear about what you discover as you explore this!

Let’s explore time together …