Ask Paula - The Time Finder with Paula Eder

The Time Finder with Paula Eder

The way you use your time is the way you live your life.

Archive for 'Ask Paula'

Find Time to Adjust to Aging – Just Ask Paula!

Posted on October 26, 2011 by Paula, under Ask Paula, Time as We Age.

Finding time to get everything done is always a challenge. And it’s a challenge that can be heightened as we adjust, each of us, to our own aging processes.

How do you adjust to aging? Is it an issue that you grapple with?

Here’s a timely question that we recently received from Martha J. in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma:

Dear Paula,

I think I have accepted the fact that I am slower to accomplish my everyday tasks than I used to be. I also try to be creative in experimenting with new ways to get the work done as quickly as is now feasible.

The only time I get depressed is when my adult children comment on my diminished capacity. I realize they are joking, but it still hurts, and I often feel angry and depressed after they leave. What do you suggest?

Sincerely,

Martha J.

And here’s my response to Martha …

Dear Martha,

Thanks for your question. You’re dealing with a very common problem.

The fact that it’s common means that there’s a lot of shared wisdom about how to cope. And that’s not to diminish the fact that the challenges we each face in this area have their own very individual flavors, as well.

The key is to shift your own focus away from what others express and back to how you experience your current situation. That is where all of your power lies.

Ask yourself how you feel about how you are managing. Are there things you’d like to be able to do more quickly? Maybe you can address that. Are there ways that your new pace feels comfortable and even enjoyable to you? When you are grounded in your own feelings and experience, the comments that others make will feel less like criticisms or ‘pronouncements’ and more like what they are: comments.

Work to take your ego out of the equation and focus on the humor. Recognize the teasing for what it is. If you are comfortable doing it, give it right back!

On the other hand, if you are not comfortable with the banter, deflect any barb in their comments with a smile and a truthful response.

You might also choose to share honestly about changes you have noticed in yourself. Sometimes others’ humor is a cover for their own uneasiness; so an honest conversation might be a relief for everyone.

The more fully you accept your reality, the less you will feel knocked off course if someone teases you. You can starve self-pity by validating to yourself all that you accomplish, despite the changes or setbacks you face.

It is important to see the glass half full. After all, aging is the best alternative!

Warmest regards,

Paula

… and are you interested in learning more about the Heart-Based Path as you explore your own changes and evolution? Here’s one way that you can transform and deepen your relationship to time in the Heart-Based Way …

I invite you to explore Secrets of Heart-Based Time Management - my chapter in the book I co-authored - Stepping Stones to Success! In it I share my proven system for exploring and harnessing the power of your mind, your body and your spirit to help you deepen your experience of time and of your life.

As you work with the ideas I offer, you’ll explore your patterns, clarify your values, identify and prioritize your goals … and create your path for achieving them. You can give yourself the gift of this wonderful resource today, and get started on your journey toward success, Stepping Stone by Stepping Stone …just click this link to get the details!

Let’s explore time together …

Paula's Signature

No Comments

Find Time by Breaking Your Gargantuan Goals into Actionable Steps!

Posted on March 30, 2011 by Paula, under Ask Paula, Time Management Skills.

Finding time to get everything you need to do onto your To Do Lists … and then manage those lists so that they don’t overwhelm you … is really worth the up front investment. It takes practice and commitment, and no one system is going to be a perfect fit for everyone.

In fact, one of the keys as you work with these lists is to listen to the advice of the experts, try it, and slowly develop a process that works for you. There’s no right or wrong about this – YOU are the key!

Along those lines, I had a great question yesterday from Wendy J. who e-mailed me at paula@thetimefinder.com with a question about working with BIG goals. Here’s part of her e-mail:

I understand about being aware and flexible when I develop goals. My problem is an inability to figure out where or how to start working on a long range goal.

What a great question! It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by a very big task. The biggest challenge when working on a long-range goal is getting started. Here are four tips, to help you break the process down into steps:

Begin by brainstorming all the tasks involved in your project. Be as inclusive as you can, and DON’T JUDGE! Jot everything you think of down on a list.

Next, categorize all of the items you’ve listed. For example, if you wanted to build a house, you would put all the site development tasks into one category, and all the activities involved in obtaining permits in another. As you do this, you’ll begin to see order emerging from what may have felt like chaos!

After you have identified tasks that go into a specific category, prioritize them. Adjust as needed. A timeline might be helpful as you do this.

In order to be most effective, break down each activity into the smallest pieces possible. That way, the tasks will be doable, and you will experience immediate success.

As we discussed yesterday, especially when working with big projects, it’s vital to know that you’ve covered all of the bases with an inclusive To Do List. Equally vital, however, is not overwhelming yourself with that list every day. Breaking down your goals into smaller steps gives you the positive feeling of completing things, while chipping away, step-by-step, on your gargantuan goal!

Are you inspired to find time and increase your effectiveness? I invite you to explore Secrets of Heart-Based Time Management – my chapter in the book I co-authored – Stepping Stones to Success!

I am so excited to share my proven system for harnessing the power of your mind, your body and your spirit to help you explore your patterns, clarify your values, identify and prioritize your goals … and create your path for achieving them. The in depth interviews contained in this book provide practical and heart-based ideas to get you moving as you embrace yourself and your own uniqueness!

You can give yourself the gift of this wonderful resource today, and get started on your journey toward success, Stepping Stone by Stepping Stone … just click this link to get the details!

In other Finding Time news, I was pleased, recently, to be interviewed by a reporter from our local newspaper, the Monadnock Ledger-Transcript! The article, by Jonathan Gourlay, is titled “In a Busy World, She’s Making Every Minute Count.” Enjoy!

What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up for your FREE Finding Time Success Kit. It puts 3 key tools for your time success right into your hands! Grab it and see how you can recharge your energy, reduce overwhelm and frustration, and come to learn that 24 hours really ARE enough!

Let’s explore time together …

Paula's Signature

2 Comments

Finding Time to Revise A Holiday Tradition? Just Ask Paula!

Posted on November 30, 2010 by Paula, under Ask Paula.

Finding time to create templates so that you can efficiently follow through on your holiday tasks, routines, and traditions is an excellent, time-saving tool.

But how do you find time to keep your templates up-to-date? And what do you do when you want to revise them … but you’re not the only person affected? That’s exactly the question we recently received from Janet Smith, writing from Providence, RI:

Dear Paula,

I have really appreciated your posts and e-zine articles about how to use templates to move through the holidays with greater ease.

For several years now, I’ve been thinking about suggesting a change in one of our family rituals. This may bring up feelings for others, and it also would mean changing the templates.

How do you suggest I go about doing this?

Sincerely, Janet

This is a great question, not only for the Holiday Season but for any time that you are considering a change in a routine or tradition … a change that will involve others and which they are likely to have feelings and opinions about.

Dear Janet,

It is positive that you are willing and open to changing your holiday traditions. As our lives evolve, it is important to consider this possibility.

You are correct in noting that others are likely to have feelings about this. Any change in routine will generally bring up feelings – and that goes double (or maybe even triple) for the holidays.

So, one thing to consider is that it is helpful and important to not initiate a change right when the holidays are upon you and your family. Instead, I would suggest that you select a more neutral time – say, July – to propose any changes. This way, the emotions from the holiday season are less likely to interfere with making decisions.

When you propose your change, also solicit ideas from all who are involved. Make concrete suggestions about the changes you would like to see. Encourage feedback, discussion, and alternative proposals. And it is important that you do all of this with a genuinely open mind. The change that you have proposed may not, in the end, be the one that everyone agrees on. Will you be okay with this?

Once the changes are agreed upon, you can go ahead and modify your holiday template to reflect the new traditions.

I suggest that you also make copies of this template to share with interested family members. It will help confirm the consensus and prepare everyone for the new rituals.

Finally, please let me know how it goes for you – I’d love to hear! Hope this is helpful to you in your holiday planning, and throughout the year.

Warmest regards,

Paula

Want to learn more about finding time to make more proactive time choices – not just during the holidays but throughout your year?

You can still sign up and access all of the excellent information that we covered in our Teleclass on November 16th. Dr. Melissa McCreery and I discussed “Holiday Thriving: How to Take Charge of Stress, Overwhelm, and Overeating During the Holiday Season.” For some practical tips for staying on track with your healthy lifestyle while decreasing your stress, sign up and we’ll send you the FREE MP3!

Let’s explore time together …

Paula's Signature

1 Comment

Finding Time to Listen to Yourself – Just Ask Paula

Posted on September 9, 2010 by Paula, under Ask Paula.

Finding time to catch your breath and connect with yourself is such an important, nourishing and empowering thing to do! And so often it is the thing that we let go of first.

Just listen to this recent question that Jen, in Tulsa, e-mailed to me …

Dear Paula,

I really enjoy reading about how to set boundaries. But when I set aside time for myself, I often let it go because something else more important needs that time.

When I keep the boundary, I feel guilty for ‘wasting time’.

How can I set boundaries, use them, and feel good about them?

Jen

This is a very timely question, as we’ll be sharing a lot of great information about finding time to tap into your Inner Wisdom in our teleclass next Tuesday (9/14). Personal boundary skills will be very, very important as you learn to connect more deeply with yourself … so read on!

Dear Jen,

Thanks for asking such an important question! Setting boundaries may be a new skill for you. Like all new skills, establishing boundaries takes practice and discipline.

I suggest that you start small. For example, you might set a boundary to give yourself one hour a week of “you” time. Or you might give yourself permission to take a walk two days a week.

Schedule this during a time when something ‘more important’ is less likely to challenge your plans … then document the results.

Ask yourself some questions as you reflect on how it all went:

Where did you follow through, and how did you feel about empowering yourself?

If you didn’t follow through, what happened?

What other choice did you make instead?

What did you learn from that?

How does your energy feel when you take care of yourself, versus when you put something else ahead of yourself?

I would also suggest creating an affirmation that can become a mantra for you. For example, you might focus on how it is your right to use your time in ways that you choose. Repeat this mantra once an hour until it becomes automatic. That can help you remain determined in the face of challenges to your boundaries.

Warmest regards,

Paula

Want to explore your Wise Inner Voice more fully? Create a boundary for yourself next Tuesday so that you can attend the next interview in my Finding Time EducationRich and HeartBased Teleseries!

It’s at 7PM (ET) on Tuesday, September 14 … and I’ll be speaking with Soulful Coach Joanna Lindenbaum. Our topic? Activating Your Inner Wisdom: How to Bring Joy and Success into Your Life. Sign up and join us for this free, info-packed teleclass! When you listen to that wise voice inside, the sky’s the limit!

PS Even if you can’t be there on Tuesday, sign up and we’ll send you the free MP3 when it’s ready. (That goes for after-the-call, too!)

Let’s explore time together …

Paula's Signature

No Comments

Find Time Today: Move Some Priorities to the Bottom of Your List!

Posted on August 20, 2010 by Paula, under Ask Paula, Time Priorities.

Finding time by setting priorities is a wonderful way to organize yourself. But here’s a recent question from a reader that illustrates a common challenge when prioritizing.

Susan A. of Portland, Oregon wrote:

Dear Paula,

I have always tried to set priorities when I create my to-do list. My problem is that I have a tendency to think that every task is a high priority. Could you help me by explaining what a low priority task looks like?

Sincerely,

Susan A.

Dear Susan,

Your question is one that many people ask. One of the most difficult aspects of setting priorities is to develop a habit of not making everything a high priority.

You might want to set yourself this goal: Try to assign at least 50% of the tasks on your to-do list as a medium or low priority.

A low priority task is one that can be deferred without a negative impact on anything if it doesn’t get completed.
Also, a low priority task is one that can be moved to another day without any adverse consequences.

Keep in mind, when setting priorities, that being flexible and reality-based is key. Situations change every day, and you may, quite often, have a legitimate reason to re-order your priorities. Tasks that looked very important on Sunday night, may look different on Wednesday, after you have gained more information or the context has evolved.

In thinking about your top priorities, be rigorous about what belongs in that slot. Stephen Covey suggests keeping two words in mind while setting priorities. One is ‘urgent’ and the other is ‘important’. The best guide for determining which task is the highest priority is to select the task on your to-do list that is both urgent and important. Some tasks may be one or the other, but only the one that is both belongs at the top.

Likewise, you may find it helpful to establish a “bottom” priority. You may even have a small collection of tasks that fit this bill. They would typically be things that can be deferred without dire consequence, but that it would be nice to accomplish. Putting vacation photos into an album is something that springs to mind. Or, perhaps, reorganizing a seldom-used closet.

Breaking your tasks up into smaller pieces (“chunking” them) may also help. Even if you don’t have enough time to complete a task, you can use the time available to get it started. Some of these “chunks” might be lower-level priorities, but completing them will help move a higher priority task along.

It’s helpful to choose a time to review your next day’s to-do list and the priorities you’ve established. Look at both the task and the priority you’ve assigned it. This allows you to flex and fine-tune your priorities as you plan. You might even take a minute or two and visualize each task. This mental rehearsal enables you to identify the number of steps required to complete a task and keeps your stress level down.

I hope that some of these ideas resonate for you, Susan … and I’d love to hear how your prioritizing evolves over time.

Best,

Paula

PS Just a quick reminder that, though the call with Artist and Creativity Coach Ellene Breedlove Davis is over, you can still access the FREE MP3 by clicking the link for: Finding Time to Be Creative: Portrait of the Artist. When you use your creativity to enhance your life, you will develop even more incentive for developing your best ideas and making them a reality.

Let’s explore time together …

Paula's Signature

1 Comment

Find Time to Take a Breather and Recharge Your Energy and Productivity, Too!

Posted on June 30, 2010 by Paula, under Ask Paula, Self-Care Time, Time and Energy.

Finding time to take those all-important, refreshing breaks is one of the hardest things for busy and productive people to do.

There’s always that one more thing! You know, the one that keeps you task-bound and, ultimately, saps your energy, enthusiasm, and productivity. It can even affect your health.

Here’s what one reader has been struggling with …

Beth from Toronto writes:

I love how The Time Finder offers me lots of different ways to look at (and achieve) balance. I want to find time for more balance in my life … a LOT more … and my problem is that I drive myself to achieve and get it all done as soon as possible.

I tend to see anything that pulls me away from what I should be doing as frivolously wasting time.

So my question is, how can I ever take time for activities that aren’t absolutely productive and necessary?

Can you relate to this quandary? I am guessing that many Time Finder readers can … and I know that I certainly can! Read on …

Dear Beth,

I hear your frustration about the way that you drive yourself. It is essential that you allow time for relaxing activities that aren’t directly related to work.

Indeed, in order to be most productive, you need to change your pace, your focus, and your energy frequently throughout the day. Try to alternate a task where you are passively sitting at your computer with one where you are active. That is, where you are moving your body and therefore, your energy. Make sure you approach your non-work activity with openness, gratitude and compassion, and not with harshness or urgency.

I also suggest setting aside a time every day for exercise and relaxation. I routinely exercise in the earlier part of my day. This helps to balance my energy and ground me, so I begin my work with enthusiasm. With every hour of sitting, I take 10-15 minutes to move and reenergize myself. Going outdoors or playing with my “puppies” helps me counterbalance my work energy.

Try to make one small change for a week and document what you notice. After your routine becomes second nature, encourage yourself to add something else to your day.

Be gentle and kind to yourself!

Warmest regards,

Paula

If you think of self-care and balance as responsibilities on an equal footing with everything else on your task list, does that help you reframe those activities for yourself? In order to fulfill and actualize your potential, you need to have access to your fullest self. That means giving yourself what you need to thrive, each step along the way!

As we move from June into July … what are some ways that you can build breathing space into your life? I encourage you to give that gift to yourself!

Speaking of thriving … are you ready to explore your healthiest life? Ready to explore and consider some changes?

The MP3 of my interview with Nutritionist and Clean Eating Coach Wendy Battles-Plasse is just the thing for you! We explored how you can “Start Living Your Healthiest Life Today: Timely Tips on Clean Eating, Self-Awareness and the Power of Prevention.” We’ll send it to everyone who signs up on our teleclass page. This was a jam-packed, info-filled call … and it’s not too late to learn all about healthy eating and prevention from one of the best!

Let’s explore time together …

Paula's Signature

2 Comments

« Older Entries