Ask Paula | The Time Finder with Paula Eder

The Time Finder with Paula Eder

The way you use your time is the way you live your life.

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Find Time to Recharge Your Creativity

Posted on March 11, 2010 by Paula, under Ask Paula, Time and Energy.

I received a wonderful question from a reader of The Time Finder last week, and I’ve been looking forward to answering it here ever since!

Mutuo Mbilla is an article writer, and she asked about the following quandary — one that confronts many of us in our writing work:

Paula,

Thanks for your great tips on time finding. I have a question for you, which I struggle with almost every week. I am a writer, and as a writer, I need creative energy. I have noticed though, that after putting lots of creative energy in, I am drained and on some days, just can’t work myself into putting down a single creative line. Sometimes this can happen for two days in a row. Is this bad? Of course it means I don’t get to achieve all my goals, but I am not sure whether its good or bad, and if I should stop it, how I should go about it.

Regards,

Mutuo Mbilla

The first piece of advice that I have for you, Mutuo, is to try to not think about these things as either good or bad. It’s normal to feel drained after spending a lot of creative energy. The key is not to be critical of yourself, but to find solutions — because that kind of self-judgment will just slow you down and also eat up even more of your energy!

Second, I would suggest that you build into your writing schedule a number of regular, small breaks. Step away from your desk and do something to relax your mind and also let your body and your energy move.

Using a timer may be very helpful for you in giving yourself breaks. Especially when one gets on a creative “roll” it can be tempting to keep going – ignoring breaks as you try to ride the creative wave. This is often the beginning of the path to the kind of exhaustion that you describe. So try to discipline yourself to take your scheduled, small breaks no matter what. This will sustain you for the long haul!

You mentioned your goals in your question. My third piece of advice is to take a look at your goals and see whether they are truly realistic. Are there ways that you could make them more flexible for yourself, so that you can take into account your energy levels? It’s okay to back off from time to time. Small chances to refresh yourself will enhance your creative energy over the long term.

I hope you find this helpful, and would love to hear how it goes for you. Have you tried any of these ideas already? Maybe it’s time to take another look at them. Best of luck to you in your creative endeavors, Mutuo!

Other Time Finder readers … do you have suggestions for Mutuo … we’d love to hear!

What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up for your FREE Finding Time Success Kit. It puts 3 key tools for your time success right into your hands! Grab it and see how you can recharge your energy, reduce overwhelm and frustration, and come to learn that 24 hours really ARE enough!

Let’s explore time together …

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Find Time to Manage Change … Just Ask Paula!

Posted on February 25, 2010 by Paula, under Ask Paula, Transitions and Time.

Finding time for dialogue with members of the Finding Time community is one of my favorite things! We invite readers’ questions and comments – and I love highlighting them here, most Thursday’s. Read on – and please feel invited to join in!

Here’s a question about dealing with sudden change, from Theresa in Chicago:

Dear Paula,

I need your help for a sudden change that my family is confronted with! My partner must relocate to Atlanta within weeks to keep his sales manager position.

He is our main breadwinner, and his saying no isn’t an option in this economy. But I have no experience moving to a new location, and must ready my 2 school-aged children, as well!

My head is spinning, I’ve lost my appetite and I can’t think or sleep. But everyone is counting on me! Can you please advise me how to make it through this ordeal? I hope you can answer this right away.

Thanks so much.

Theresa

And here’s my response …

Hi Theresa

You certainly have a lot on your plate! Here are some ideas for you to consider, as you navigate this challenging time!

The first thing I would suggest is to stop and find a comfortable place to sit, perhaps in a favorite room. Close your eyes and become aware of your breathing. Make sure you are breathing deeply and from your belly.
Next, create an affirmation that you can take with you at all times. For example, “I’ll get through this one minute at a time,” or “Step by step will get me there.” Use this as a mantra and a guide. Also, don’t be shy about changing it as things evolve. You can adapt your tools to your needs at each stage!
Be creative about options, and flexible. Family members may be unsettled for a while. So it may help to relax your expectations a bit until new routines can be established.
Concretize everything in writing, including an ongoing list to record items as they come to you. That frees up your mind for other tasks. Focus on one thing at a time. Validate even the smallest successes. This is key!
Delegate tasks and ask for help. Engage your children in age-appropriate activities. That helps them develop understanding and ownership of the move.

I hope you find this helpful.

Best of luck to you … I’ll be thinking about you as your move unfolds!

Paula

What kinds of sudden changes have you had in your life? How did you cope? Do you have time questions you’d like me to explore here? Please drop me a line at paula@thetimefinder.com – I’d love to hear!

Oh, and don’t forget to join me on Wednesday, March 3 at 7PM ET as I interview Certified Life Coach and Professional Organizer Maggie McCauley, LICSW about moving yourself “From Chaos to Peace—Creating an Inspired Workspace.” Maggie will let you in on the secrets to stop letting chaos and clutter drain your time and energy, sap your creativity, and cost you money! Be sure to grab your free seat and join us!

Let’s explore time together …

Find Time to Remember to Use Your To Do List-Just Ask Paula!

Posted on February 18, 2010 by Paula, under Ask Paula, Time Boundaries.

John Fieglein from Annapolis, Maryland, writes:

Dear Paula,

When you write and talk about communicating time boundaries, one of the suggestions I like best is the use of the scarf on the door to remind people that you want to work undisturbed. Can you suggest a similar structure that would remind me to look at my To Do List?

Dear John,

Your question reminds me of how important it is to communicate, not just with others, but with ourselves! And yes – no matter how good our lists and systems may be, if we don’t remember to use them, they can’t really help!

There are a number of great ways to give yourself helpful reminders about your To Do List. One is to put a sticky note with the word “lists” printed on it in a place where you are sure to see it.

For example, if you want to review your list at night, perhaps you can put your sticky note on the mirror in the bathroom. This way, you will see it when you brush your teeth! Or, if you want to review your list in the morning, you might put your sticky note next to your coffee pot, your tea kettle, or on your orange juice container in your refrigerator.

Here are two other things to consider …

A bright color like fuchsia or fluorescent yellow helps the note stand out.
If you leave your reminder too long in the same place, it may just become “part of the landscape” – so be flexible and move it around if need be.

You can adapt this idea to whatever best fits your personal routine. Play with it and find what works best for you. And please let me know what you decide to do and how it works – I’d love to hear – and to share with other readers who have asked similar questions.

Let’s explore time together …

Find Time to Give Your Dreams Some Landing Gear!

Posted on February 11, 2010 by Paula, under Ask Paula.

Not too long ago I had a Tweet from CozyCoach (aka Jennifer Scovil). Jen is a new Mom who’s also in the process of developing a website and a coaching practice. Her question?

@PaulaEder I wish you would write more about The Overambitious Goal. That’s me and I never go in with an understanding of how I’ll reach it.

This is a great question, because while we don’t want to shackle our dreams, it’s important to learn to fashion goals, objectives, and action steps that can make our dreams into realities. Anything less, and we’re actually sabotaging our dreams (in addition to frustrating ourselves). As CD Jackson has said:

Great ideas need landing gear as well as wings.

So, what does that mean in practice? It means, in a nutshell, “chunking” your dreams down into goals, objectives, and actions steps ’til you get to doable pieces.

Of course, setting goals isn’t magical. And setting goals is not a requirement for being an effective and successful person. If your goals are “shoulds” you may find yourself rebelling against them. But, if your goals are steps toward your dreams, they are more likely to be aligned with your values and your energy … and you are much more likely to follow through on them!

Here are 3 tips to help you as you think about goal-setting:

Setting goals is based in what you want in your life. Try writing your goals in clear, concrete, and simple language. This helps you see exactly what you want, and creates an image of the outcomes in your mind.
Once you have defined the outcomes you want, it’s much easier to design relevant action steps. This is key! Be as concrete and incremental as you can, as this puts the feeling of accomplishment within reach as you complete each step!
Setting goals introduces two states of mind that can improve your life. They are “awareness” and “agility“. Awareness is what keeps our eyes on the prize. Agility, on the other hand, allows us to adjust to the unexpected things that arise along the way.

As a recipe for realizing dreams, remember these three concepts – chunking down, awareness, and agility. Hope that helps!

And before closing, I note that today is the anniversary of the untimely passing of Thomas J. Leonard, founder of Coachville and inspiration to thousands and thousands of coaches around the world. His spirit lives on in the work of Andrea J. Lee, and others … and here is a quote of his that captures, to my mind, some of his wonderful energy, humor, and wisdom!

Deliver what people expect and more; but don’t just give them eleven apples instead of ten, toss in a kiwi.

What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up for The Finding Time Success Kit. It’s FREE, and it provides you with key tools for your time success! Grab it and see how you can recharge your energy, reduce overwhelm and frustration, and come to learn that 24 hours really ARE enough!

Let’s explore time together …

Find Time to Stay True to Your Time Boundaries

Posted on February 4, 2010 by Paula, under Ask Paula, Time Boundaries.

Finding time by setting time boundaries is a key component in your time management toolbox. But it’s not just a matter of setting those boundaries. You have to maintain them – and that’s not always easy!

Here’s a question that I received some time ago from Sara D in Maine:

“I have trouble maintaining the boundaries that I set around how I use my time. I set them and then I get talked out of them.”

This is not an uncommon problem by any means. Here are some quick tips that will help!

Be sure to decide, before going into a discussion with others about your boundaries, whether or not the boundaries you have set are negotiable or non-negotiable.
If they are negotiable, strive for a compromise that meets the needs of everyone involved.
If they are non-negotiable, courteously explain in the beginning that these boundaries probably won’t be modified in the short term, and explain why.

It’s always important to enlist the support of others as much as possible. When you ask the people in your life to support your boundaries, it’s a good idea to also assure them that you will be open to discussing and perhaps modifying your Boundaries if (or when) your current time requirements change.

This builds in room for flexibility down the road, and may be helpful to everyone (yourself included, perhaps) in respecting the boundary right NOW!

What do you think? Are you using time boundaries and staying true to them? Please feel invited to drop me a line – I’d love to hear … and respond!

Let’s explore time together …

Finding Time to Ask Paula!

Posted on January 28, 2010 by Paula, under Ask Paula.

This morning we’re introducing a new category to our blog here at The Time Finder – Ask Paula!

We anticipate that it will be a good spot to highlight questions (and comments) that come to us in response to blog posts and to our e-zine (which will be firing today a little before noontime ET, by the way)!

We’re looking forward to being able to expand on the already-lively dialogue in our Finding Time Community – and this is a great way to start!

So, to inaugurate Ask Paula, here’s a question from Bruce K. in California:

How do I know if my choices around time really do fit with my values?

What a great question! This is a topic that Heather Dominick actually touched on in our interview on Tuesday night.

In response to a question about making choices and taking risks, she suggested doing a body scan and noting where your feelings about a particular choice reside.

She went on to say that if you feel the energy of the choice in and around your heart, it is probably in sync with your values and core direction. If, on the other hand, the feelings are centered in your head, you may be over-thinking and forcing something.

To delve further into this – on a daily or weekly basis, ideally, I’d encourage you to step back and think about your values.

Then also, periodically, pause and assess how you are feeling about your time choices. Ask yourself:

How do I feel at the end of the day?

Do I feel satisfied?

Do I feel like I’ve accomplished something?

Or do I feel anxious or indecisive?

Do I think about the things I could have done or should have done?

The answer to these questions will tell you if your time choices fit into your values.

Knowing how you feel about your choices helps you see your priorities – and then you can tweak things, to bring them into better sync with your core values!

Do you have questions you’d like to Ask Paula? Please feel invited to drop me a line – I’d love to hear … and respond!

Let’s explore time together …