Time and Values | The Time Finder with Paula Eder

The Time Finder with Paula Eder

The way you use your time is the way you live your life.

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Find Time to Deepen Your Relationship with Time This Valentine’s Day!

Posted on February 9, 2010 by Paula, under Time After Time, Time and Values.

Finding time to deepen our relationships is always time well spent – and what better day to focus on relationships than Valentine’s Day!

I’d like to invite you to do something a little bit different, and take a moment to reflect on how you relate to time this Valentine’s Day. Do you approach it as a friend in your life’s journey? A difficult, sometimes cranky and critical relative? An enemy?

For many, I think the latter is the case, and time becomes an entity that we are in perennial struggle with. And yet, I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way. Not at all!

We each can choose how we relate to time – and how we frame that relationship will, in turn, affect everything else in our lives. Indeed, HeartBased Time Management is about learning to redefine our relationships to Time, Meaning, Money … and ourselves!

Here’s a passage from a recent interview that Michelle of Taming Time recently did with me. We discussed how important and basic one’s relationship with time is:

“The way you use your time is the way you live your life.” I certainly apply that to myself and to my own unique relationship with time.

I know, in the core of my being, that time is finite and concrete, and that on some level, every choice that I make is a time choice. Every single time choice that I make, no matter how small or large it may seem, shapes my relationship with time. In the same way that the quality of one’s personal relationships is shaped by the quality of choice that one brings to them, so, too, the quality of the energy one brings to making time choices affects one’s relationship with time (and therefore with life)!

I am in a constant process of looking at this, and developing ever deepening self-intimacy as I do! My relationship with time becomes increasingly organic and internal, and I am better able to place myself in the moment, being fully present, and feeling and expressing gratitude for my environment, my choices, and my life.

It’s an ever-expanding process of going deeper, and seeing the ripples move out, through time!

You can read the whole interview here … and please feel invited to check out Michelle’s blog here! (I’ve added it to our sidebar, too.)

What is your relationship with time like? I invite you to find time, this Valentine’s Day, to celebrate and deepen it! It will enrich you in unexpected and meaningful ways … I promise!

What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up for The Finding Time Success Kit. It’s FREE, and it provides you with key tools for your time success! Grab it and see how you can recharge your energy, reduce overwhelm and frustration, and come to learn that 24 hours really ARE enough!

Let’s explore time together …

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Find Time to Make Your Holidays Yours!

Posted on November 24, 2009 by Paula, under Time Choices, Time and Values.

Finding time to get everything ready for the holidays and finding time to celebrate special times may not always be the same.

As Thanksgiving gets closer and closer, with the December holidays waiting in the wings, I have been thinking about two very different ways we can approach these events. The energy we bring to the holidays can make all the difference in how we experience them!

Do you feel overwhelmed by the holidays? Are they yet another “task” in your already-full schedule? Does it look impossible to get the necessary cooking and shopping and planning done before holiday time arrives? Do you find yourself wishing that you could skip it all?

Maybe it’s time to step back and take another look.

I always encourage people to think of time as a basket. In the basket are all of the things that your have committed your time to. Chances are that your basket is full. Perhaps it is even overflowing. How do you fit something like the holidays into it?

Well, the other thing that I encourage people to do with their basket of time is to take something out when they add something to it. Even as a temporary measure, this is important as a way to relieve stress and keep your expectations realistic.

So, as a first step, add the holidays proactively to your basket of time. Making this your own, proactive choice removes the “victim” energy that can sometimes accompany the holidays – especially if you are feeling stressed and impinged on by them.

Next, think about what you can take out of your basket, temporarily, to give yourself some breathing room!

Make yourself a quick list of possibilities.

Don’t remove your self-care time, as that will leave you feeling depleted just when you want to have access to your best energies.

Act on at least one, and ideally two or three of the possibilities you’ve listed.

Be sure to let others know, if they will be impacted by your choices.

Remember that this is a temporary measure! Once the holidays are over, you can return to your regular priorities.

As an added bonus, in letting go temporarily, you may discover that there were things on your list of time priorities that you didn’t actually need to be doing. This can free you up even more going forward!

While we’re talking about holiday planning, here’s something to add to our basket of time for Thursday, December 3 from 7:00-8:15 PM ET! It’s a FREE teleclass offered by my friends and colleagues Cindy Hudson and Maggie McCauley titled: Color Your Holidays With Calm, Confidence & Courage – Tools To Help You Thrive In The Midst Of Holiday Madness. As they say, “If you’re tired of the same ole’ same ‘ole holiday routine and you’re ready to feel calm, confident and courageous all during the holidays this year, come to the class and make this the most effortless and joyful holiday season ever!” Knowing Cindy and Maggie, they are going to have some very useful and inspiring information to share. I encourage you to check it out!

How are you feeling as the holidays approach? Have you made room for them in your basket of time? There’s still time to make proactive choices about it … there’s always time for that … so here’s to your time success!

Want to learn how to set effective boundaries to honor yourself, your time, and your relationships? You can ask for the time and space you need, and get it, too! Claim your FREE MP3, “Honoring Your Time With Boundaries”, and discover tools to move you toward a stronger self and stronger relationships! So, take your next step, click HERE and grab your MP3! When you sign up you will also receive (if you don’t already) our weekly Finding Time Tips, our monthly Award-Winning Finding Time E-zine, and our Finding Time Personal Boundary Template! All FREE – our gifts to you!

Let’s explore time together …

Finding Time When Juggling Multiple Priorities

Posted on July 8, 2009 by Paula, under Time Priorities, Time and Values.

Finding time is often a matter of juggling priorities. This can be a challenge to sort out – especially if you run into a situation in which it’s your most cherished values that are in competition.

Life Transition Coach Paula Harvey recently wrote a blog post about How to Choose Between Passions and offered a helpful example from her own life. She lists 4 questions that she asked herself as she sorted out her predicament:

* What action feels right to me, right now? (not what “should” I do)

* What are the consequences if I choose one passion over the other? Can I live with that consequence?

* What does my heart tell me to do?

* What commitments have I made that I must honor?

These questions tap into the powers of the heart and the mind to help negotiate the challenges of competing priorities. The mind provides the frame while the heart supplies the feelings-based information.

Listening to your heart, for example, you might try on the different alternatives and identify what “feels” right. Then, as a helpful and informative balance, you look to your mind for practical information about probable consequences if you pursue that course.

This gives you authentic, heartfelt and grounded insight into your values and priorities. Combining your heart-based and your adult voices is one of the most powerful and empowering gifts that you can give yourself in ANY situation. This combination will never steer you wrong – unlike the inner critic whose rigid and “should-based” perspective will always take you off track and into the underbrush!

How do you feel when you are juggling competing priorities? Have you tried stepping back and listening to your heart-based and adult voices? How does this work for you? I’d love to hear!

What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up and download The New Finding Time Boundary Template. It’s FREE, and when you sign up you will also receive (if you don’t already) my FREE, weekly Finding Time Tips and my FREE, monthly Award-Winning Finding Time E-zine!

Let’s explore time together …

Finding Time for What Matters Most

Posted on June 17, 2009 by Paula, under Time and Values.

Finding time to clarify what you value, and then put those values into practice in your everyday life is an ongoing challenge. Yesterday we looked at the impact that our time choices about the internet can have on other things we value – like family time.

Making these time choices consciously, rather than by default, is an important step toward finding time for what matters most.

But what does matter most? This morning, let’s step back and take a look at how clarifying what we value can help us clarify our time choices. In a recent article titled Finding Time by Championing Your Values – 3 Essential Steps to Reclaim Your Time at EzineArticles.com I explored a 3-pronged approach to help you get your values and your time choices into better alignment.

First, take some time to sit with yourself and identify what you most value. One great avenue for doing this is to visualize your ideal day. Be as specific as you can – the more detail you include, the easier it is to follow your “map.” I suggest that you revisit this exercise fairly often – and at least seasonally. Your ideal day will evolve as you do – and it’s important to keep it fresh and in sync with where you actually are!

Next, look at your actual day. Be factual and dis-invite your inner critic (who may be very eager to help with this part of the exercise)! What do you typically do? Where do you get bogged down? What goes smoothly? Be as specific as possible – each small moment is important. Pay particular attention to your feelings as you do this.

Your third task is to put your two days side by side, and identify places where you can bring elements of your ideal day into your real day. It’s important to be concrete and realistic here, so that you do not set yourself up for failure. Recognize that change can be a challenge, and some changes may take more than one step. Start small and build toward success!

Finding time to live your values is one of the most rewarding time management tasks you can undertake. As you make your time choices more consciously, you’ll find the time for what matters most – guaranteed. Give it a try … and let me know how it goes for you!

Let’s explore time together …

Finding Time to Be Thankful for Little as Well as for Much

Posted on May 29, 2009 by Paula, under Time and Values.

Finding time for gratitude is something that we’ve written about in the past, here on The Time Finder. When we express gratitude, what do we express it for? Is gratitude about size or quantity or something else entirely? If you make me dinner, it seems obvious that I will thank you. If you give me a drink of water on a hot day, do I do the same? I would — but perhaps some would not.

Why is that?

Today I’d like to focus on an aspect of gratitude that is summed up in the following proverb:

Who does not thank for little will not thank for much. Estonian Proverb

Gratitude has to do, not so much with the actions of others, but with the expectations that we have about life.

If I expect others to give me what I need or want, then when they do so, I’m not so much grateful as satisfied that my expectations are being fulfilled. Conversely, if I do not carry that expectation then I am frequently and pleasantly surprised by kind or generous gestures … and I feel grateful for them.

On the flip side of this coin, if I expect others to give me what I need or want, when they do NOT do so, I am likely to feel let down and disappointed. This is a big energy drain. If I do not harbor that unrealistic expectation, I am not setting myself up for disappointment.

Approaching each moment with minimal expectations helps us to notice the small and large gifts that come our way almost constantly in our lives. The key is not about the size of the other person’s gesture but about the expectations that we bring to our lives.

The attitude of gratitude enriches our moments and relieves us of the perpetual disappointment that unrealistic expectations bring.

Do you find time to feel grateful and to say thank you? I’d love to hear!

Let’s explore time together …

Find Time to Find Perspective

Posted on May 22, 2009 by Paula, under Time and Values.

When you are under stress, discouraged, overwhelmed, or anxious, finding time to find perspective is always a good choice.

Yesterday I found a wonderful quotation from an unknown source that reframes an old adage and introduces a reflective question that I’d never thought of.

Is the glass half empty, half full, or twice as large as it needs to be? ~Author Unknown

Particularly these days, as our economy goes through its downturn and we all adjust to our changing financial worlds, isn’t this an interesting way to think about the proverbial glass? Indeed, the new option that is introduced here is that, in addition to deciding whether to feel hopeful or discouraged, we can also make choices about whether or not to adjust our expectations.

The question brings me to think about my values, and offers me an opportunity to widen and deepen my perspective. I step back and look with new eyes at what is familiar and may have become rote. Here is a chance to change!

I love how something like this reminds us, so creatively, that there are multitudes of ways to look at things.

How big is your glass?

Are you laboring under overlarge expectations?

How do you find time to find perspective in your life? I’d love to hear!

Let’s explore time together …

Finding Time for a Walk Around the Lake

Posted on May 7, 2009 by Paula, under Time and Values.

Finding time to reflect is something that we’ve written about in The Time Finder from time to time. We’ve looked at it in the context of self-care and of time choices, as well as time boundaries (making time for reflection points).

Certainly these pauses are very grounding and energizing. They are a way of re-connecting with the moment, and with the energy that flows from that fundamental linkage. I’d like to explore a further aspect of reflection points, summed up in the following quotation:

Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around the lake. Wallace Stevens

This passage is from Wallace Steven’s Notes Toward a Supreme Fiction, in which he explores imagination and the creative process (to oversimplify just a bit).

What leaps out at me here is his use of the word truth. There is something different here.

Pausing, in the course of a morning, an afternoon, a day, and making space to reflect, can be more than a matter of finding or refreshing your energy. It can be more than a matter of stepping away from our desks in order to reflect and hopefully find a creative solution to a problem.

It may be about those things, but it can also be about depth and another kind of exploration entirely. It can be about truth. Not truth with a capital T – but the evolving element of depth that each of us can access in our lives.

It may be surprising, uncomfortable, disconcerting, or comforting. Opening to it is a risk … and an adventure. And what I also note here is that the truth depends on this walk. If we don’t make the space for it in our lives, we are missing something basic, rare and precious.

Have you taken a walk around the lake? I’d love to hear!

Let’s explore time together …

Finding Time to Be a Good Steward of Our Planet

Posted on April 23, 2009 by Paula, under Self-Care Time, Time and Values.

Did you find time to celebrate Earth Day yesterday? The wet weather here in New England kept many indoors yesterday, as we got some much-needed rain! I love pausing on days like Earth Day, to think about my values, my priorities, and what I can do every day to find ways to put them into action. So that’s what I took a few moments to do yesterday.

I was interested to explore the EPA’s Earth Day page and see that they advise choosing 5 actions that you can commit to following through on. A list of possible actions can be found on their Pick 5 page. You can share your picks if you want to, or use their ideas to spark your own, and come up with your own list.

I would advise not trying to make too many big changes in your everyday living all at once. Instead, hold onto your list and make incremental changes over time so that something like recycling, for example, can be incorporated into your routine without too much disruption. This is because you are working to create new habits (which usually takes @ 28 days). If you bite off more than you can chew, your efforts are likely to peter out before your new habit has actually taken hold.

Finding time to be a good steward of the planet is a lot like finding time for self care, in my mind. Our Selves and Our Planet are the necessary bases from which all of our activities and accomplishments spring. So, pausing to honor and reflect on this fundamental truth is an important activity on Earth Day.

Equally, if not more important, is finding time to incorporate this awareness into our habits and activities every day.

Is this something that you have been working on in your life? Something that you’ve incorporated into your routine for a long time? Would you like to find time to expand your activities as a steward of our planet? I invite you to share a comment here – I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Let’s explore time together …

Find Time to Clarify Your Time Priorities by Clarifying What You Value

Posted on April 14, 2009 by Paula, under Time Priorities, Time and Values.

On her blog Money, Meaning and Beyond, Andrea J. Lee has a regular feature titled “A Course About People | 5 Little Things You Want To Know” where she posts snippets of wisdom from Thomas Leonard, founder of Coachville, and often known as the father of life coaching. This gem caught my eye yesterday:

“People often want things contrary to their value system until they sit down and really consider what those values are.”

Being at odds with one’s core values is a confusing and, ultimately very frustrating, situation. From a time management perspective, it makes setting priorities and making time choices much more difficult than they need to be. And it makes it difficult to feel satisfied at the end of the day, because you are very likely to feel ambivalent about your accomplishments.

Your values not only help you to determine where you want to go – they remind you about why you want to get there. The “why” is often what energizes and enlivens goals – especially when the going gets tough. So finding time to identify your values is a process that puts you back in sync with yourself.

How do you identify your values? Some months ago I wrote about internal and external values. They provide the frame and the context of your time choices and your activities. When you take the time to clarify these things for yourself, you’ll find that things flow much more freely.

Making sure that your values and time choices are in sync means that you’ll be regularly finding time for the things that matter the most to you. Life satisfaction soars in this scenario!

Do you wonder about the relationship between what you want and what you value? I invite you to find some time to sit down and consider your values, as Thomas Leonard suggested.

What do you find? Please send us a comment here at The Time Finder. We’d love to see it … and share it!

What if you could find another hour every day? You can! For more Time Finding resources, you are invited to sign up and download The New Finding Time Boundary Template. It’s FREE, and when you sign up you will also receive (if you don’t already) my FREE, weekly Finding Time Tips and my FREE, monthly Award-Winning Finding Time E-zine!

Let’s explore time together …

Find Time to Live Your Values

Posted on April 2, 2009 by Paula, under Time and Values.

Finding time to live your values is the best road I know to clarifying your time choices, re-energizing your time priorities, and living your life as fully as you can. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed about your choices or struggling with competing priorities, that’s a good sign that you may need to step back and do some values clarification. It needn’t be a lengthy or arduous task. Think of it as a friendly dialogue with yourself – a way of getting re-acquainted!

Life has a way of building up momentum and starting to whiz by, doesn’t it? Wendy Battles of Healthy Endeavors is using some quiet time this week to reconnect with herself and “just be.” She’s setting some boundaries and putting her values into action in a proactive and revitalizing way. I look forward to reading her insights about this in the days to come!

Last week, I posted a new article on Ezinearticles.com titled: Time Management Tips – 5 Essential Insights About Values. It explores the ways that our values influence our actions, whether we are conscious of those values or acting out of unconscious (but deeply rooted) beliefs. Our values are our inner guidance system.

It is vital to be as aware of this wellspring as possible. Finding time to clarify and reconnect with your values means that you can live with integrity and your full power. It removes impediments to your energy, allowing it to flow clearly and cleanly from your core.

Values are deeply personal, and determine how you experience your entire life. Remember, you always have the right to establish values that speak to your truth! And you always have the power to use your time accordingly. Put your best energy into your time choices, and your life will fulfill you!

Now ask yourself, what choice can you make right now to align your time choices with your values more powerfully?

Here’s to finding time to live your values! Have you explored your values and experienced the power of living them more fully? I invite you to write a comment or drop me a line (paula@thetimefinder.com) – I’d love to hear!

Let’s explore time together …