The Time Finder with Paula Eder » Time Boundaries

Find Time for What’s Most Important to You Every Day-Day #2

Paula — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 09:28:19 +0000

Finding time for planning helps you see where your time goes. That, in turn, helps you find time for the things that are most important to you.

How did you do with yesterday’s planning task? Remember? I suggested that you think of three things that you really wanted to do, write them down, and then revisit your list in the evening.

Planning can be very revealing. When we make a plan we are making a commitment – a promise to ourselves. It makes our time choices more visible to us and introduces an element of accountability into our days.

The list you made yesterday was a very basic plan for your day, and going back to review it at night will always give you the opportunity to learn and adjust your planning as you move ahead. The better you get at planning your time, the more productive, energetic, and satisfied you’ll feel each day!

Here are 3 more keys to making planning a useful and productive tool for you:

Look with love! When you are reviewing your list at night, don’t use the eyes of a harsh, critical taskmaster. That will discourage you and most likely make you want to hide you time choices from yourself. Look with love, curiosity, and compassion. The more you open to yourself the more likely you are to learn and grow!
Flexibility is your friend! Your plan needn’t be rigid and unchanging. Always remember, this is YOUR plan and YOU are in charge! If you forgot to include laundry in your list for Tuesday, it’s okay to add it when you remember on Tuesday morning and bump something else to Wednesday. Use your plan as a guide or a frame for your day … and don’t be afraid to flex it.
Thank yourself! Always, when you check in with yourself about your plan, validate your efforts AND validate your honesty. Remember that learning lies as much in your mistakes as in your successes. Give yourself a big pat on the back when you review your plans, and when you create new ones. You might even come to look forward to your planning time!

My last suggestion to you is to do your check in and your planning before bed each night. This is important because it allows you to get a running start on your morning. Also, bedtime is something that can be moved back a bit, when necessary. Often mornings don’t allow you that kind of flexibility. I find that if I plan to plan at night, I am sure to do it.

Is planning already a part of your life? Do you want to start … and move toward making the invisible visible? I’d love to hear how it goes for you … it’s a wonderful exploration of yourself!

What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up for your FREE Finding Time Success Kit. It puts 3 key tools for your time success right into your hands! Grab it and see how you can recharge your energy, reduce overwhelm and frustration, and come to learn that 24 hours really ARE enough!

Let’s explore time together …

Find Time for What’s Most Important to You Every Day-Day #1

Paula — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 13:07:46 +0000

Finding time for the things that matter most is a challenge that we each face every day of our lives.

Do you notice how your time can get “lost”? How sometimes one thing leads to another and before you know it, a whole day has gone by? Things that you intended to do get lost in the shuffle … and you are not sure how you got from point A to Point Z.

All you know is that you don’t feel like you have a handle on where your time is going. By extension, that means that you probably feel like your life is a little bit out of control!

Does this resonate for you? Know the feeling? It can be very discouraging and disconcerting. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be that way! Read on for an important tip, to get you started on finding the time for what matters most …

The key to finding time each day lies in Planning!

Everybody knows about planning … but how many of us actually follow through and keep doing it? Many of us think it’s a good idea in theory … but in practice, something often doesn’t work. So let’s step back and take another look.

Over the next two days, I’m going to be offering you some new ways to look at planning for yourself, so that you’ll keep at it and reap all the benefits that it has to offer! To get started, here are three things to keep in mind about planning:

Call it something that you are comfortable with. If it’s helpful for you to think in terms of a schedule, then use that word. If the word plan works for you, then go for it. The key is to use something that you are comfortable with … NOT a word that you feel victimized by!
Planning is about creating a frame for yourself. Think of it like guard-rails on a road … or the edging along a garden path … whatever image is helpful and nurturing for you. Remember, this is for YOU and can be flexed to suit your needs.
Planning is very revealing. It makes our time choices visible – whereas in our unplanned days they can remain invisible. When you plan, you are making the invisible visible. This is very empowering, but it can be a challenge at first – especially if you bring critical energy to it. Work to see whatever your planning reveals to you simply as information – neither good nor bad. Just information.

How does this sound to you so far? My suggestion to you for today is that you think of three things that you want to be sure that you do today. Write them down. This is your plan for today. Tonight, before bed, revisit your plan. Think about how it went. Do you need to carry some piece(s) over into tomorrow? What do you learn? Give yourself a bog pat on the back … you are starting to plan!

Let’s explore time together …

Finding Time Today to Create a Sanctuary for Flexible Focus

Paula — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 09:46:39 +0000

Finding time today to create a sanctuary for flexible focus can feel heavenly! Take a few steps to cultivate this open focus right now. It can be accomplished in a few minutes, and it will always repay you richly!

What is your reward? Increasing your concentration while keeping nimble on your feet!

If you find it hard to focus, you’ll be delighted by the enormous surge in energy you’ll experience as you develop single-minded attention!

The secret to success is to create the ideal inner sanctuary for growing your focus. Once you’ve made it for yourself, you can take this haven anywhere. And you’ll be amazed by how quickly you can regain your balance and stay productive, even when life sends you spinning! I’ll suggest different tips in upcoming blog entries. Here’s the first …

How to ENVISION your sanctuary for flexible focus.

Invite ALL of your senses to participate in imagining your ideal sanctuary.

Open focus thrives when you broaden your perceptions to include your “centering sounds” – perhaps soft music or nature recordings – whatever works best for you.
Are there fragrances that encourage your relaxed alertness? Include them.
Clear clutter from your range of vision, too. Then, it’s much easier to go within.

How exactly do you visualize a nurturing space for flexible focus?

Well, how about envisioning this sanctuary as a walled garden? The beautiful wall you imagine ringing your garden protects the time you’ll devote to your project. Whether it’s a mossy stone wall, or a picket fence with climbing roses, it’s high enough to block out trivial distractions. But it’s also low enough let you see everything you need to tune into.

In practice, you can certainly make concrete adjustments to your environment that can support this sanctuary that supports you. Some will help you concentrate, and others will help you broaden your scope.

For example, the background sounds you select may help screen out street noise. But you might need assistance to keep your focus – and your body – from becoming rigid! So a timer can remind you to take periodic breaks. Or you may screen your calls to keep on track. But to keep from getting locked into a fixed mindset, you might ask someone you trust to review your project partway through, to provide a fresh overview.

In the same way that a garden matures, your understanding of what you need to have in place to be both focused and flexible matures with time, too.

Experience helps you decide just how high to build your garden wall for each project. So develop this skill by creating these mini-sanctuaries every day. Maintain a friendly spirit, and you’ll come to enjoy these experiments!

Speaking of gardens … would you like to learn more about how Clean Eating can support you in achieving your healthiest life? Are you ready to explore and consider some changes?

The MP3 of my interview with Nutritionist and Clean Eating Coach Wendy Battles-Plasse is just the thing for you! We explored how you can “Start Living Your Healthiest Life Today: Timely Tips on Clean Eating, Self-Awareness and the Power of Prevention.” We’ll send it to everyone who signs up on our teleclass page. This was a jam-packed, info-filled call … and it’s not too late to learn all about healthy eating and prevention from one of the best!

Let’s explore time together …

Find Time for Flexible Focus and See How Letting Go of Rigidity Can Free You to Flow!

Paula — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 10:16:02 +0000

Finding time for a project you love can feel like diving into sparkling waves. You immerse yourself in the work, and find it refreshing! At times you might even feel carried gently forward by the flow of your concentration. Best of all, you build confidence, each time you keep on track.

But rigidity… that’s another matter! Sparks fly and patience frays. You want SO much to stick with your plan that other parts of your life suffer. Relationships can be the first casualty when you become overly rigid. And your body may complain bitterly, too.

Fortunately, you can learn the difference between focus and rigidity in daily decisions!

Here are 2 steps to strengthen FLEXIBLE focus and avoid the pitfalls of rigidity:

Step #1: PLAN your day the night before, giving each priority its fair share of time.

Some people mistake planning with rigidity. But realistic planning actually PROTECTS the flow of your day!

First of all, keeping to a well-planned schedule will help you sustain the tempo of healthy daily life, especially if you factor in a little flex time.
Second, if you divide your project into daily increments, you won’t be struggling with a bottleneck at the last minute.

Those around you will thank you, because you’ll probably be a lot easier to live with, too! When you are rested, healthy and well nourished, you retain your perspective more easily, and you build resiliency.

Step #2: Make a list of your top priorities and COMMIT to balance.

Rigidity is focus that has lost its balance. This can happen to anyone! But when you consciously broaden your perspective, you can breathe easy. What are your central commitments? Jot them down, and then clarify boundaries for each in advance.

For example, you might decide, “My weekend plans take priority over finishing up that report!” Then, if you are tempted to cancel a special get-together to review your project for the fifth time, an inner warning bell can help you readjust your perspective.

Flexible focus is a skill you can build! And self-reference is one of your best allies. Keep checking in with yourself to find your “sweet spot” of balance, as you flex here, and hold firm there. Assess your results with friendly objectivity.

With practice, like the surfer, you can use both your focus and flexibility to skillfully ride the waves of change!

~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of the waves of change … are you ready to explore your healthiest life?

Ready to consider some changes?

Well, check out the MP3 of my interview with Nutritionist and Clean Eating Coach Wendy Battles-Plasse. We explored how you can “Start Living Your Healthiest Life Today: Timely Tips on Clean Eating, Self-Awareness and the Power of Prevention.” We’ll send it to everyone who signs up on our teleclass page!

This was a jam-packed, info-filled call … and it’s not too late to learn all about healthy eating and prevention from one of the best!

And, even better, when you sign up, choose our VIP level and you’ll receive a word-for-word transcript of the call, as well as a special gift from Wendy – her 26-minute MP3,”4 Simple Steps to Meal Planning Success.” This audio is loaded with Wendy’s easy and practical tips that help put healthy eating within your reach every day!

Let’s explore time together …

Find the Time You Need by Setting a Time Boundary Using the Times Two Rule!

Paula — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 10:15:01 +0000

Finding the time to get it all done can be a big challenge – and sometimes a big headache – in today’s fast-paced world.

How often do you find yourself at the end of the day, with your To Do List still full of tasks that you haven’t gotten to? It’s a frustrating and confidence-busting feeling, isn’t it?

That’s where Time Boundaries come in! This morning as I was writing this post, I received (very fortuitously) the following Finding Time Tip and Action Step in my in-box:

TIP

Build boundaries that embrace each stage of your work. When you ask for the time you really need, you improve follow-through and build trust.

ACTION STEP

Before asking for undisturbed time, visualize and carefully estimate the time needed to prepare, complete and review your project. If you’re unsure, multiply your estimate by two. Note how close your estimate came, when you review your results.

There are two key points here:

First, it’s very important to set a time boundary … period; and
Second – if you’re not giving yourself the time that you need, within that boundary, you aren’t really helping yourself.

As you practice this skill, I suggest that you use the Times Two Rule to estimate the time to set aside. (For example, if you think it’s going to take you an hour to create an initial outline of your project, double that, and set aside two hours of undisturbed time.

Using the Times Two Rule and setting, then following through, on time boundaries will keep your projects moving as well as building your skill and confidence about managing your time. It’s very empowering!

And now, here’s something you’ll not want to miss …

We are very excited to offer the next installment of The Finding Time EducationRich& HeartBased Interview Teleseries! Join me at 7PM ET on Tuesday, June 8 for my interview with Nutritionist and Clean Eating Coach Wendy Battles-Plasse as we explore how you can “Start Living Your Healthiest Life Today: Timely Tips on Clean Eating, Self-Awareness and the Power of Prevention.”

And, even better, when you sign up, choose our VIP level and you’ll receive a word-for-word transcript of the call, as well as a special gift from Wendy – her 26-minute MP3,”4 Simple Steps to Meal Planning Success.” This audio is jam-packed with Wendy’s easy and practical tips that help put healthy eating within your reach every day!

I hope you can make it – it’s going to be an excellent, info-packed class!

Let’s explore time together …

Finding Time to Move Smoothly Through Your Transitions – Just Ask Paula!

Paula — Thu, 27 May 2010 10:44:05 +0000

Finding time to live life and move through daily transitions in a mindful (and planful) way is often a matter of creating time boundaries and centering activities for yourself … and then following through on them!

As you can see from the question we received recently, this is a challenge for many!

Lynne from Syracuse, NY writes:

Dear Paula,

I like the idea of marking my days with specific activities that I can repeat over and over. However, I can’t seem to find the time to actually do them, even though I try. And even if I do have time, I don’t remember the activities. Do you have any suggestions?

Dear Lynne,

You are identifying two separate issues. The first is not finding the time, and the second is not remembering the activities. Perhaps you feel caught in a Catch-22 where you can’t find the time to find the time! And, as a result, you feel can’t center yourself enough to remember just how you’d planned to center yourself!

This may actually sound counterintuitive, but making the time to work on grounding, welcoming, or stress-reducing activities, will actually help you find time more consistently. And creating these transitional rituals will enable you to use your time more beneficially. These activities will smooth your daily path and help guide you throughout your day. As you begin to do them regularly, you’ll feel like something is missing when you don’t do them.

Start small with one brief activity that strongly appeals to you. The more you resonate to it, the more incentive you’ll have to find time and recall your plans. If needed, place small Post-It notes in your living or working space, as reminders.

Make it easy. For example, if you find a book of quotes very inspiring and uplifting, buy 2 copies, and keep one in your car for easy retrieval.

Repeat this one activity until it becomes automatic. Then you can integrate a second one into your daily life. Make sure you continue to do the first one, also. In that way you will build your transitional activities into the routine of your day, each day, every day.

Let me know how this works for you.

Warmest regards,

Paula

How do you deal with these kinds of challenges in your life? Was this helpful? Please feel invited to drop me a line – I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences!

Let’s explore time together …

2 More Timely Tips to Tame the Difficult Personalities that Want to Steal Your Time!

Paula — Thu, 20 May 2010 10:35:58 +0000

Finding time to increase your productivity by creating and maintaining time boundaries is a foundational tool for attaining your goals. But how do you handle those difficult personalities who slow you down? Last week we shared a tip from The Finding Time E-zine that addresses this challenge.

Here are 2 more tips to help you transform dead-end dynamics by creatively rethinking your own time choices when stressed.

1. Locate your power point in “stuck” interactions.

In every problematic interchange, there exists a special power point. Generally, this is the place where you are so stuck you don’t even know you’re stuck! Take space, relax, and invite insights to surface. Keep the focus on your end of the struggle.

Your challenge is to create choices you can implement to improve your situation, regardless of what the other person does. This strengthens your negotiating position immensely.

Notice how the more you focus on empowering yourself, the less resentful you feel about your inability to control the other party!

2. Thanks – a lot!

What do ceaseless tug of wars give you? Certainly, tunnel vision! Paradoxically, appreciating your “partner in challenge” can provide you with fresh insights that might lead to genuine progress.

Consider taking a few minutes to list anything and everything you appreciate about the person you lock horns with. You might even draft a brief letter of gratitude, to help restore perspective. Cultivating a thankful attitude lowers blood pressure and enables you to relate to the entire person, including whatever strengths they possess.

So let go. You are far more likely to identify potentials for mutual benefit when you are relaxed and cooperative.

You nourish and actually create a stronger self, every time you clarify your priorities and assertively protect them. What a wonderful way to develop and celebrate your power throughout your life!

How do you deal with these kinds of challenges in your life? Was this helpful? Please feel invited to drop me a line – I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences!

PS: There’s still time to sign up and access the MP3 of my interview with Entrepreneur Energy Coach and Founder of Body Brilliance Krista Hearty as we explored “A Secret Brilliance: How to Tap Into Your Unique Energy and Power.” And, even better, when you sign up, choose our VIP level and you’ll receive a word-for-word transcript of the call, as well as a special gift from Krista – an MP3 of her 20-minute guided visualization, “Present Moment Meditation.”

Let’s explore time together …

Finding Time to Deal With Difficult Personalities-Part 2!

Paula — Wed, 12 May 2010 10:16:15 +0000

Finding time to deal with the difficult personalities in our lives is a challenge well worth taking on.

If you read last week’s post about this, you know what I’m talking about! It takes discipline and practice – and the path isn’t without its bumps. But, as you become more skilled at managing your time and relationship boundaries, you’ll find that all sorts of new possibilities open up for you!

In the next Finding Time E-zine (which fires tomorrow morning), I’ll be sharing 3 actionable tips on this exact subject. Here’s a sample, to whet your appetite!

You travel farther in “neutral.”

Is someone trying to commandeer your time? Resist the natural urge to escalate. Instead, consciously relax to create an inner mood of spaciousness and curiosity.

Let’s say a co-worker pleads for you to bail her out of a hot spot yet again …

Try restating her “emergency” in a low-key manner, with no blaming or value judgment. You benefit in two significant ways:

First, you provide yourself with valuable breathing room while acknowledging that you understand the request.

Second, by reframing the situation from your perspective, you make it clear that you are assessing it for yourself.

Finally, include prioritizing your commitments into the narrative, to extend the overview beyond your coworker’s urgency and limited perspective.

You create a crucial shift in power by using this simple technique. Refusing to reflexively respond to another’s “calamity” is an act of assertiveness and self-esteem.

Does this sound like something you could try today? Interested in my other two tips? Sign yourself up for your FREE Finding Time Success Kit before tomorrow morning (if you aren’t already a Finding Time E-zine subscriber) and you’ll receive tomorrow’s e-zine as part of the package! The Finding Time Success Kit puts 3 key tools for your time success right into your hands! Grab it and see how you can recharge your energy, reduce overwhelm and frustration, and come to learn that 24 hours really ARE enough!

Let’s explore time together …

Find Time to Deal With the Difficult Personalities Who Slow You Down

Paula — Thu, 06 May 2010 09:30:47 +0000

Finding time to manage your time and get the most out of each moment is a task that can sometimes run into unexpected roadblocks in the form of the people around you!

To make the very best use of your time, you need to figure out how to handle those “difficult personalities” who slow you down! Maybe they drag their heels, or they heap way too much responsibility on your shoulders. Perhaps they lean on you to bail them out, or they attempt to micro-manage you. Whatever others do, the good news is that you CAN reclaim your power over your time!

The formula is simple and powerful. Focus exclusively on implementing your own time choices. This is where you exercise all the control! Also, reduce stress by letting go of attempts to actively manage anyone else’s choices. Does this sound daunting? Here are some essential guidelines:

Difficult Personalities Cannot Take Your Time. No matter how annoyed you may be by others’ attempts to pressure you, you remain fully responsible for all your choices throughout the day. So focus on developing your ability to steer your own course. And affirm to yourself that you will deal with the consequences. This shift in orientation may feel uncomfortable and unfamiliar at first, but it will become second nature with practice.

You Can Manage Difficult Feelings About How Others Relate to You. As you work to develop your self-reference and assertiveness, new understandings emerge. Are you apprehensive about how others will react if you refuse to sacrifice your priorities? Might you feel threatened or guilty, if others express anger or disappointment? There is a guaranteed way to strengthen your position. Take complete responsibility for handling your own discomfort in the face of resistance. This is enormously freeing! As you respect others’ right to their feelings, you can remain centered. Your energy then goes to making good decisions for yourself instead of attempting to “fix things” for others.

Your Difficult Personalities May Regard YOU as a Difficult Personality. Incredible but true! In fact, the more you become embroiled in attempting to control the difficult personality in your life, the more likely it is that they view you as the problem. The next time someone behaves in a way that you find unreasonable, try shifting your mindset a little. What is their objective, and what is their perspective? When you don’t take their choices as a reflection of your worth, you can develop a neutral overview. Then you may identify areas that are open for negotiation. And the more you focus on implementing your choices rather than attempting to control their reactions, the less pushback you may encounter.

As you practice these steps over and over, you will experience these benefits firsthand! By lessening your investment in how others respond to your new time choices, you have fewer difficult feelings to manage. The less victimized you feel by what lies beyond your power, the more relaxed and focused you become. And as others sense that you no longer wish to control them, and that they can’t control you, they may even modify the behaviors you have found to be so annoying.

But most important, you will have accessed your core strength to change your life for the better. The power resides where the responsibility resides … and that is with you!

Let’s explore time together …

Find Time to Create Some Peace and Quiet … Right at Home

Paula — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 09:24:36 +0000

Finding time to inhale, exhale, and slow down is, for so many of us, seen as a luxury or a scarce pleasure? Why is that so?

I’ll be asking Color Expert and Transitional Life Coach Cindy Hudson a little bit about that tonight at 7PM (ET)! I am so excited about our interview. It’s the third in my Finding Time EducationRich & HeartBased Interview Teleseries.

So many women grew up with the message that they needed to somehow address everyone’s needs (except their own) and strive to keep everyone happy (except themselves). What an exhausting and … need I add … impossible … task!

At the same time, as most women know, there came the “never enough” message. You were never smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough. Whatever the enterprise, as women we fell short, pretty much by definition. That was the message that so many of us absorbed as we grew up in this culture.

Strive to take care of everyone … and know that you are never enough!

Can you see what a terrible bind that puts women in? It’s no wonder that so many feel chronically exhausted, discouraged, and either like martyrs or victims in their home and work lives. It’s not surprising that sparks of energy and creativity are seriously dampened in the process.

So here’s your question. Are you ready to explore ways to overcome overwhelm and give yourself the space and calm that you need to thrive?

If you are, then you’ve got to join me tonight as Cindy and I address this … and so much more … when I interview her about “Vibrational Effects of Color – How to Create a Sanctuary in Your Own Home.”

That’s tonight – Tuesday, April 6, from 7-8 PM! Just click this link, sign up, and we’ll get you what you need to join us! (Oh, and if you can’t make the call, not to worry. Sign up and we’ll send you the MP3 as soon as it’s ready!)

How do you recharge your productivity? Do you find time and space in your life to inhale, exhale, and slow down? Ready to learn how the Vibrational Effects of Color can help? Join us – we’d love to have you on the call. (And don’t forget our hashtag … #findtime!)

Let’s explore time together …

The Time Finder with Paula Eder » Time Boundaries

Find Time for What’s Most Important to You Every Day-Day #2

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Find Time for What’s Most Important to You Every Day-Day #1

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Finding Time Today to Create a Sanctuary for Flexible Focus

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Find Time for Flexible Focus and See How Letting Go of Rigidity Can Free You to Flow!

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Find the Time You Need by Setting a Time Boundary Using the Times Two Rule!

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Finding Time to Move Smoothly Through Your Transitions – Just Ask Paula!

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