Find Time and Energy with 3 Tips to Quiet Your Inner Critical Voices in 2009!

The Time Finder with Paula Eder

The way you use your time is the way you live your life.

Find Time and Energy with 3 Tips to Quiet Your Inner Critical Voices in 2009!

Posted on December 31, 2008, under Time and Energy.

In yesterday’s Time Finder post we explored the ways that critical messages sap your energy, confidence, and creativity. If you could turn up the volume and hear what your friends and acquaintances are thinking to themselves as they go about their daily business, you would be amazed at the undermining and negative thoughts that are droning in the background for hundreds upon hundreds of people. Debilitating doesn’t begin to describe the impact of this negativity!

So, what can be done about it? Here are 3 Time Finder Tips to get you started on quieting those critical messages and finding your inner power and positivity as you move into a brand new year!

1. Slow down and recognize the voice: This is the first step, and in many ways the most important. You won’t be able to quiet that nagging, undermining voice unless you recognize it. Some of us get so used to these messages that they are taken-for-granted as the backdrop of our lives. It is crucial to slow down and develop the capacity to recognize this voice when it appears. Practice writing down the critical messages that you give yourself. You’ll slowly come to recognize the tone and the themes of this voice. The critical voice is not very creative, nor is it very interesting. You’ll probably quickly come to recognize its patterns and cadences. Then the trick is to recognize it in the moment!

2. Once you recognize your inner critical voice, the next step is to simply name it. This may sound obvious, but it’s very important. Say something calm and direct to yourself, like, “Oh, there is my critical voice talking.” Naming it is a quiet step toward separating yourself from this voice. In naming it, you are subtly claiming your own power over it. Your inner critical messages hold power only when you believe them and react to them. Recognizing and naming the source helps you to see that the messages you are giving yourself are tainted and not to be taken to heart.

3. Don’t be reactive to or try to argue with your critical voice. If you treat your critical voice as if it were rational, you are setting yourself up for endless struggles. This voice is by definition critical and negative; it can’t be argued out of its opinion. Counter critical messages with clear, grounded, factual information. Do it respectfully and calmly – getting angry or being reactive involves giving away some of your power. You might say to yourself: “I hear that you think I am really looking very foolish right now. The fact is that your perspective is off base and I am enjoying dancing. If I listen to you, I’ll stop enjoying what I’m doing – so I am choosing not to listen to your opinion. That is what it is – your opinion.”

As you can see, the key to dealing with self critical messages is to recognize them, name them, and then respond from a very grounded, factual, adult place within yourself. In this way you retain your power, and can move on with your life!

Do you feel successful in dealing with your own critical messages? How does that work for you? I’d love to hear!

What if you could find another hour every day? You can! For more Time Finding resources, you are invited to sign up and download The New Finding Time Boundary Template. It’s FREE, and when you sign up you will also receive (if you don’t already) my FREE, twice-weekly Finding Time Tips and my FREE, monthly Award-Winning Finding Time E-zine!
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There are 3 Responses to “Find Time and Energy with 3 Tips to Quiet Your Inner Critical Voices in 2009!”

#1 Kathryn Merrow - The Pain Relief Coach - 12 January, 6:23 PM

Hi Paula,

Perhaps there are two types of people: One type thinks they are responsible for everything, even random things they can’t control, like a pimple. The second group is able to say “My leg hurts,” rather than “I hurt my leg.” The second group just states it as it is, rather than take the responsibility of feeling as though they are at fault for everything.

Although I want people to take responsibility for their own health and wellness, I want them to focus on the good things they can do for themselves, rather than the things that sometimes “just happen.”

I thank you for your fine article.

#2 Paula - 13 January, 6:00 AM

Well said, Kathryn! Your comment reminds me of how important even the seemingly smallest bit of semantics can be. There is a world of difference between “My leg hurts” and “I hurt my leg.” It’s is so important to be aware of what empowers and what depletes us!

#3 Find Time by Giving Your "Outer" Critic Less Air Time! | The Time Finder with Paula Eder - 11 February, 5:51 AM

[...] some recent blog posts we’ve focused on the ways that your inner critic can rob you of time and energy – and ways that you can put a stop to [...]

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