Transitions and Time - The Time Finder with Paula Eder

The Time Finder with Paula Eder

The way you use your time is the way you live your life.

Archive for 'Transitions and Time'

Find Time to Let Changes Change You, Too!

Posted on October 25, 2011 by Paula, under Transitions and Time.

Finding time to deal with changes and transitions in life is a perennial challenge. While change is inevitable, it isn’t something that we always welcome because it means, well … change!

Maybe part of what we react to, in thinking about change, is the fact that it may ask that we change ourselves. So, what if we welcomed that, rather than instinctively backing away from it?

How much richer can your experience be if you let changes change you?

Here’s an example of a fairly typical situation: I was recently talking with a friend who has, for many years, enjoyed a ritual of solitude around the time of her birthday. This year she has been surprised to find herself feeling a little bit nervous about this familiar ritual.

One possible response to these feelings would be to change the ritual, or even skip it entirely. But here’s another path to consider: the heart-based path.

I’d suggest, first and foremost, choosing to welcome these new feelings. Rather than unwelcome visitors, view them as messengers bringing helpful new information about you. You can cultivate an attitude of compassionate curiosity about yourself!

Having welcomed your feelings, I suggest that you next think about the changes that have prompted them. Explore how you feel about each change and the challenges presented. Then make conscious decisions about how to manage the challenges. Maybe you want to stretch yourself in some areas, and back off in others. The more specific you can be the better.

Next, it’s helpful to continue to assess your experience as you go through it. So pay attention to your feelings before, during, and after the change that you are going through. Ask yourself how you are doing, much as you would ask a friend. Pay attention to your answers, as they will help you take your next steps.

Changes are like doors opening. As you step through, you not only learn new things about your world, you also learn new things about YOU. The more you can let changes change you, the more you can stretch and grow into ever-deepening self knowledge, strength, and power.

So are you ready to start moving toward change and open to the feelings it brings?

Stay tuned, there’s more to come … and in the meantime, as you explore ways to increase your power and effectiveness – whether it’s in your business, or your personal life … I am so pleased to be able to offer my expertise and support as The Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to “Time Management”.

You can visit by clicking the link, and when you do you’ll find lots of time management articles by experts in the field, along with a vibrant and welcoming on-line community. Stop by my Expert Page and leave a comment or question … or just say hello. There are lots of ways to connect … I’d love to get started!

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Find Time to Let Transition Times Foster the Changes You Already Want to Make

Posted on September 21, 2011 by Paula, under Transitions and Time.

Finding time to welcome transition times, make the most of them and even come to appreciate them, is a worthwhile challenge to explore. As we noted in yesterday’s post, much about how we approach transitions may be defined by what we learned about them as we grew up.

And, as we discussed yesterday, those lessons affect us profoundly and can even determine many of our actions if we travel through life unaware of their power. But one of the secrets of heart-based time management is that we can free ourselves from those old limitations. Those messages aren’t written in stone, and the first step toward freedom is becoming aware.

The next step is to consciously choose how YOU, your powerful and grounded adult self, want to approach transition times. It is so important to remember that this choice is entirely yours to make, and it shapes everything that follows.

What if you chose to welcome, not fear, your transitions?
Imagine choosing to view the unknown as filled with positive and exciting possibilities!
What if you embraced opportunities to let go of the old? What would that feel like?

You see, transition times are times when things really are in flux. As the illustration shows, you are letting go of one trapeze and have not yet grabbed another.

Try seeing this as a moment of pure potential (rather than pure terror). You are confident of your strength and skills. You know that you are not going to fall. So, in this transition time, what do you want to do?

Are there tasks or habits or items that you would like to let go of?
Conversely, is there something new that you would like to start?

Here’s an everyday example: When I make the annual transition from summer to autumn, I put my summer clothes away and pull out my cold weather gear. And I always use the time to declutter my drawers and closets, sending unused items either to Goodwill or to the cloth recycling bin at our town recycling center. Larger life transitions may present more profound challenges and opportunities.

What they all have in common, these transition times, is that something is changing and you have an opening to reflect and reassess. If you listen closely, what transition times are saying to you is: “Change is here no matter what, so is there anything that YOU want to change while we’re at it?”

Just ask yourself, the next time you’re in transition, “Are there other changes I’d like to make in this moment?” Listen to your answer, make it real, and drop me a line - I’d love to hear how it goes!

And are you interested in deepening your relationship to time in the Heart-Based Way? Then, I invite you to explore Secrets of Heart-Based Time Management - my chapter in the book I co-authored - Stepping Stones to Success! In it I share my proven system for exploring and harnessing the power of your mind, your body and your spirit to help you deepen your experience of time and of your life. As you work with the ideas I offer, you’ll explore your patterns, clarify your values, identify and prioritize your goals … and create your path for achieving them. You can give yourself the gift of this wonderful resource today, and get started on your journey toward success, Stepping Stone by Stepping Stone …just click this link to get the details!

Let’s explore time together …

Find Time to Survive and Thrive Through Every Transition Time! (thetimefinder.com)
Find Time to Value Your Values the Heart-Based Way (thetimefinder.com)
Find Time to Banish Guilt and Revitalize Yourself Today! (thetimefinder.com)
Find Time When You Need It Most Using Timely Flexible Focus (thetimefinder.com)

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Find Time to Survive and Thrive Through Every Transition Time!

Posted on September 20, 2011 by Paula, under Transitions and Time.

Finding time to move through transitions planfully and proactively can help you benefit from these times, rather than be overwhelmed and disoriented by them. In my next two posts I’d like to explore how you can do this. So, let’s start with a fundamental fact about transitions.

Transition time isn’t really a different kind of time, even though we all have a tendency to see it that way. In reality, we are always in transition. Whether it’s transitioning from sleep to wakefulness, vacation back to work, or season to season, we live each of our moments in transition time.

Just think about it: every in-breath is followed by an out-breath. Transition time is a part of us, right down to our cells. So why do we feel challenged by transitions?

The heart-based way is to look within to find the answer to this question. And looking within, I suspect that you’ll find that your response to transition time is shaped by your past experiences of these times, and by your confidence in your skills and agility when it comes to navigating change.

Focusing on past experiences for a moment, think about the ways that your parents or other significant people in your life responded to transition time:

Were there seasonal rituals in your family?
Were they enjoyable?
Were they ordeals to be endured or challenges to be feared?

When you approach a transition time, do you see opportunity there? Or do Victim messages about change echo from your past and color your present-day responses?

Well, the good news is that if the latter is the case for you, seeing it is your first step toward taking charge of your transition time and learning to thrive, rather than just survive these times in your life.

Let’s explore time together …

And while I’m on the subject of taking charge of your time and thriving … are you a solopreneur, consultant, or small business owner who’s ready to take the next big step?

If you want to learn how to create and to keep a successful business running on your own, then this is for you! “How to Create Credibility as a Freelancer” is a booklet with 70 expert-proven tips that will help you recharge your energy and motivation, increase your visibility, and sharpen those vital organizational and time management skills.

Success is within your reach, so don’t wait, click this link and get started today! http://bit.ly/FreelanceTips

Find Time to Thrive with Flexible Focus-2 Timely Touchstones (thetimefinder.com)
Find Time to Use Your Choices to Move Into Your Power-3 Time Truths (thetimefinder.com)
Finding Time to Feel then Deal with Disaster (thetimefinder.com)

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Finding Time to Feel then Deal with Disaster

Posted on August 30, 2011 by Paula, under Time and Energy, Time Choices, Transitions and Time.

Finding time to deal with disaster is not a subject that we relish writing about. But it’s something we all need to be prepared for, as Hurricane Irene most recently reminded us.

When confronted with sudden change, one key coping strategy is to take a step back and give yourself time to let your feelings out about what has happened.

You’ll notice I didn’t say ”explore”, but “let out”. You can take time to explore later, but in the heat of the moment it’s vital to “take the top off” in a safe setting. This will help you think as clearly as possible as quickly as possible. Doing this gives you access to you best problem-solving abilities, as you meet whatever challenges arise.

Once you have done what you can to clear the air for yourself, it’s important to quickly assess the situation, and address emergent challenges and problems. Mitigate the immediate damage as best you can, and prepare for whatever the next step might be.

Throughout the process, as you sort things out, be aware that you may need to take moments here and there to safely vent feelings of frustration and loss that will muddy the waters if left to fester. Then you can return to your practical problem-solving with more clarity and positive energy.

Attitude of Gratitude. In the midst of unexpected change, there are always things to be grateful for. When you reflect on what you are grateful for you create a nourishing base of positive energy for yourself. This is a vital and affirming touchstone that can sustain you through turmoil as you deal with disaster.

It is remarkably helpful to open yourself to the process of unfolding change. Your focus will shift and narrow to what lies straight ahead as you deal with disaster. Don’t fight it. As time moves forward, your vista will widen again.

Here are 3 things that you can count on as you deal with disaster … even as you feel like your world has been turned upside down:

With each moment, the impact and ramifications of what has happened will be felt, like ripples on water.
With each moment you will have new challenges and opportunities to respond to.
And with each choice you make, you shape the next moment.

A disaster like Hurricane Irene can feel like it is a single event in time – but really, that event is just the start of a moment-by-moment evolution that can take you in directions that you might never have imagined. Remaining as open as you can to this process is a wonderful gift you can give yourself!

These skills will simplify and deepen your experience as you deal with disaster … or most anything. And they can be lifesavers! How can you apply them in your life?

Let’s explore time together …

And while I’m on the subject of exploration, transformation and empowerment, are you a solopreneur, consultant, or small business owner who’s ready to take the next big step? If you want to learn how to create and to keep a successful business running on your own, then this is for you!

“How to Create Credibility as a Freelancer” is a booklet with 70 expert-proven tips that will help you recharge your energy and motivation, increase your visibility, and sharpen those vital organizational and time management skills. Success is within your reach, so don’t wait, click this link and get started today! http://bit.ly/FreelanceTips

Find Time to Transform Your Feelings About Time by Tuning in to the Words You Use to Describe It (thetimefinder.com)
Find Time to Prepare, Adjust and Carry On When Life Throws You a Curve (thetimefinder.com)

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Find Time to Thrive with Flexible Focus-2 Timely Touchstones

Posted on August 23, 2011 by Paula, under Time and Energy, Transitions and Time.

Finding time opens your schedule, and flexible focus opens your outlook. Together, this powerful pair gives you the ability to handle whatever pops up.

Imagine you’re just settling in to watch that DVD you borrowed from the library. You’ve been looking forward to this break all day, when … ugh … here’s a sudden conflict or an emergency phone call. So you grit your teeth as you juggle yet another ball, for a minute, or a month. You manage it – usually – but how is your productivity affected? Do you ramp up, shut down, or lash out?

Let’s look at how Flexible Focus can shine a clear light on the situation and give you a new pathway for moving through it.

Flexible Focus is a deep, quiet way to balance your strengths. Put simply, as you step into using Flexible Focus, you:

Internalize the power.

For your emotional demands, it’s best to cultivate flowing, inner balance. Try letting go of what’s no longer needed, and looking within to gain strength.
The more you tune out distractions, and tune into your core needs, the more your intuition and awareness can enrich you. The mists clear and a reliable overview will evolve.
Prioritizing becomes easier. I like to envision self-reliance and self-care as encircling one another, creating a glowing compass that guides me through a changing landscape.

Externalize the tasks.

For the complex logistical tasks, I recommend creating a light yet sturdy framework of checklists and templates.
Flexible Focus helps you periodically step close to examine details, then step back to survey the big picture.
As you note your new insights and discoveries, you’ll develop effective new systems for yourself.

These skills are simplifiers and they can be lifesavers! So see how you can apply Flexible Focus to your life by remembering these two powerful and timely touchstones the next time you are pulled off-track by something unexpected. I encourage you to begin exploring the transformative power of Heart-Based Time Management today.

Let’s explore time together …

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Find Time to Greet Your Aging and Avoid 3 Time Traps!

Posted on July 27, 2011 by Paula, under Time as We Age, Transitions and Time.

Finding time to greet the transitions of aging is a topic that many who write about time will tend to shy away from.

Ours is not a culture that is welcoming of the aging process. And that’s understandable, as wrapped in our aging is our mortality. But denial never helps. And in reality, there are few things as rewarding as:

Finding time to accommodate changes as you age, and

Finding time to achieve true contentment as you grow to meet these essential challenges.

Aging is one of those sneaky surprises. Intellectually, you know that with each birthday you grow older. However, some of the consequences of growing older can creep up on you, giving you an emotional jolt and leaving you without a plan, or even without the time required to make the necessary adjustments. When you find yourself in that spot, you know you’ve fallen into a time trap!

For example – does it seem that, as you age, projects ’suddenly’ take much longer to complete? Of course, the slowdown has actually been occurring gradually over some period of time. But your realization of the reality of slowing down can seem to come out of the blue.

The challenge, when you find yourself in this kind of a situation is to avoid three types of reactions that are really Time Traps because they keep you from living your moments as fully as possible:

First, avoid denial. It is tempting, when you first realize that it takes you longer to complete a task, to think this is a one-time occurrence and that if you simply focus and work harder, your original efficiency will return. It’s a time trap to behave as if something is going to return to the way it was when it probably won’t.

Second, avoid becoming entrenched in anger and frustration. This is a natural initial response, but as you grow angrier and more frustrated, you also become slower and less accurate. This time trap creates a vicious cycle in which your frustration grows as your efficiency and effectiveness dwindle

Third, don’t remain mired in sadness. It is important, of course, to grieve the loss of your former level of efficiency as you work to embrace your new reality. By acknowledging and accepting this, you gain clarity about your options. Expressing your grief is one of the most freeing, cleansing, and deepening experiences that you can give yourself. The time trap comes into it if your grief is persistent and debilitating.

The difficulty that accompanies denial, chronic resentment, or despondency is that these responses limit your ability to make functional and appropriate time choices.

A much more fruitful and enriching path is to take the heart-based time management approach. Acknowledge your feelings of loss, and express them in appropriate ways within appropriate contexts. Then prepare to resolve the issues that arise. This balanced approach will keep you grounded and aware. It will enable you to maintain clarity and problem-solve effectively, to move forward, and to feel good about what you accomplish.

That is your challenge as you greet your aging and avoid the time traps that can accompany this process – or really any process that involves loss! (And really, when you step back and think about it, this applies to ANY change – where there are always gains and losses … things to greet and things to grieve.)

So, how are you greeting your aging – or other changes that you may be challenged by? Drop me a line … I’d love to hear your challenges, questions, and successes!

And if you enjoyed reading this post, here’s something more to consider. You can now access our Time Finder posts in real time … right on your Kindle. Try it out for 14 days FREE! You’ll receive new content wirelessly, on your Kindle, every time we post!

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Let’s explore time together …