Aging’s Changes: How to Keep Up With Them — Just Ask Paula

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Dealing with aging’s changes…

Aging’s changes can be disconcerting. They often evolve slowly, and they affect everything.

Finding time to get everything done, for example, is always a challenge.  And it’s a challenge that can be heightened as we adjust to aging’s changes.

Each of us has our own aging processes. They are as unique as we each are. So, how do you adjust to aging?  Is it an issue that you grapple with?

Aging’s changes for one reader…

Here’s a timely question that we recently received from Judy P. in Tacoma, Washington:

Dear Paula,

I think I have accepted the fact that I am slower to accomplish my everyday tasks than I used to be. I also try to be creative in experimenting with new ways to get the work done as quickly as is now feasible.

The only time I get depressed is when my adult children comment on my diminished capacity. I realize they are joking, but it still hurts, and I often feel angry and depressed after they leave.

What do you suggest?


Judy P.

And here’s my response to Judy:

Dear Judy,

Thanks for your question. You’re dealing with a very common problem.

The fact that it’s common means that there’s a lot of shared wisdom about how to cope.  And that’s not to diminish the fact that the challenges we each face in this area have their own very individual flavors, as well.

The key is to shift your own focus away from what others express and back to how you experience your current situation. That is where all of your power lies.

Ask yourself how you feel about how you are managing.  Are there things you’d like to be able to do more quickly?  Maybe you can address that.  Are there ways that your new pace feels comfortable and even enjoyable to you?  When you are grounded in your own feelings and experience, the comments that others make will feel less like criticisms or ‘pronouncements’ and more like what they are:  comments.

Work to take your ego out of the equation and focus on the humor. Recognize the teasing for what it is. If you are comfortable doing it, give it right back. Or, if you aren’t comfortable with the banter, deflect any barb in their comments with a smile and a truthful response.

You might also choose to share honestly about changes you have noticed in yourself.  Sometimes others’ humor is a cover for their own uneasiness; so an honest conversation might be a relief for everyone.

The more fully you accept your reality, the less you will feel knocked off course if someone teases you.  You can starve self-pity by validating to yourself all that you accomplish, despite the changes or setbacks you face.

It is important to see the glass half full.  After all, aging is the best alternative.

Warmest regards,


Want more help with aging’s changes?

Change is a fact of life, but do you sometimes feel like it’s coming at you too fast? Or does it pop up unexpectedly and throw all your plans awry? Well, I’d like to share a time tool that helps. no matter what kind of change you’re dealing with.

It’s titled How to Partner with Change and Aging, and to discover more about it right now, just click here:

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