Anger is a very challenging feeling for many of us – one that eats up more time than we may like to admit.
Our most recent Finding Time E-zine focused on anger with an article titled “How to Create Positive Energy Out of Dirty Anger” – and the article garnered a strong response. In the article, we presented readers with an “anger challenge,” as follows:
What if you reframe your anger today as a useful signal that something needs to change? And then what if you promise yourself that you will grow to meet this important challenge? Keep that promise and you stand in your power.
When you embrace “the anger challenge” to solve underlying problems, you:
- Re-access energy formerly mired in resentment.
- Lower stress.
- Raise contentment.
Anger as Information:
So, let’s step back and think about seeing anger as a useful signal. Right there, if you can do that, you are initiating a very fundamental shift for yourself.
Imagine welcoming a feeling of anger as a gift that you know is going to open new doors for you. You don’t recoil from it or try to deny it. You don’t feel victimized and frustrated by the situation. Instead, you greet it with curiosity and an open mind and heart.
Gratitude for Anger? Really?
One way to help yourself do this is to enlist the power of gratitude. When you express (and genuinely let yourself feel) gratitude, you are, by definition, bringing welcoming energy to whatever you are grateful for. This welcoming energy, whether you are greeting a cherished friend with it or an angry feeling about a situation at work, opens you to possibilities that are otherwise invisible to you.
And remember, being grateful isn’t about sugar-coating anything or giving yourself or your boundaries away. It is actually a way to take back your power. When you are grateful for something you make it yours. It might sound ironic, but especially if something is disturbing or frustrating for you, gratitude is a surefire way to bring it down to size.
So it’s really simple, when you boil it down:
- Greeting your anger with gratitude means that you transform your energy from denial and frustration to welcoming openness and curiosity. “What is this going to teach me? What gifts of new insight will I come away with?”
- When you approach your anger with this openness and curiosity, you have access to all of your faculties.
- When you have access to all of your faculties, you find more time! Creative solutions that you might never have imagined emerge and time that might have been wasted on angry thoughts can be used more productively.
Do you struggle with anger? How does it manifest … and what helps?
Stay tuned; I think this is an interesting and timely topic that we’ll want to be exploring more – both here on the blog and in future Finding Time E-zines.
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Great read. I plan to share this with a family member who is struggling with this very issue. Thanks for sharing on Ultimate Blog Challenge on FB.~Cindy
I am so pleased that you found this helpful and are sharing it. Great to connect here, Cindy!
Great article! Anger is often misunderstood and maligned. We are taught at an early age that it is bad to feel and express anger so we suppress it and then it comes out in unhealthy ways. Great tips on what to do with anger. I love the idea of feeling gratitude when we feel anger and am going to try that next time. It takes the fear out of feeling anger and gives the ability to step back and own the feeling allowing us to safely understand and release. Thanks for sharing these tips.
Thanks so much, Andrea – I love how you extended and expanded on the post and couldn’t agree more.
I really found this article helpful! Having recently experienced a long bout with angry feelings which often bounce me into depression, I appreciate the reminder that feelings we are taught to push away can be reframed and appreciated as gifts which can point us to the next “lesson”.
Thank you!
Hi Pippa – I am happy to hear that you found this helpful and are looking for the lessons. So empowering!
I really welcome this post, too! Anger often shows me my edges – where I need to grow. And the way you describe gratitude is a way of taking back power is very useful, too. Your blog is a great way to start the day!
Hi Alison – Loved your observation about anger showing you your edges. What a wonderfully graphic way to frame it … and here’s to taking back your power!