Authentic Boundaries Mean Discipline, Not Rigidity


Your authentic boundaries move you forward.

Setting and maintaining authentic boundaries is a key time management skill.

But what do I mean by authentic boundaries?

Well, let’s start at the beginning.

Planning is your key to finding time to get everything done. Indeed, if you don’t plan, you’ll find yourself at sea.

And surrounding you will be a floating array of tasks, priorities, and dreams. They’ll look random and chaotic, bobbing on the ocean swells.

So, if planning is your key, how do you do it?

Focus and Flexibility

Well, for starters, planning requires both focus and flexibility. I emphasize flexibility because so often when we develop plans, our attitude is that we need to stick to them no matter what. But that’s actually not true. Life just doesn’t lend itself to that.

There’s a world of difference between disciplined follow-through and rigidity. Think about how you feel when met by someone else’s rigid response to a change. Do sparks fly? Do you feel responded to or rebuffed?

Plans and Priorities

That’s what happens when your PLAN becomes your priority, rather than whatever your priority actually was to begin with. When you’re moving toward rigidity you become increasingly committed to your PLAN. And you let other parts of your life suffer. Relationships can be the first casualty.

So how do you learn to tell the difference between when you’re being focused-but-flexible and when you’re being rigid in your daily living?

Authentic Boundaries

Sorting this out depends on recognizing when your plan has become your top priority. It means that the boundaries you set aren’t organically connected to your goals. Here are two ways to help yourself:

Use Your Judgment: Follow-through builds trust and is very important. However, follow-through “no matter what” means that you are not really taking responsibility for exercising judgment and making adult choices. Circumstances sometimes DO interfere with our plans. That is a reality of human life. So, being realistic about your planning and factoring in some flex time can leave space for the unexpected and can actually PROTECT the flow of your day.

Pay Attention to Feelings: When you are feeling rigid, view it as a red flag. It’s telling you that you are trying to focus but have lost your balance. This can happen to anyone, so don’t judge yourself. Instead, when you notice this happening, take a deep breath and step back. Ask yourself:

  • “What are my central commitments?”
  • “How can I adjust to what is happening in this moment?”
  • “Is there anything I can let go of right now?”

Maybe you will shift things around; and maybe you won’t. The important thing is to check in with yourself and own your choice. The red flag helps you pause and readjust your perspective so that the boundaries you set are truly authentic.

Build Skills: Focus and flexibility are skills you build, and as you do this skill-building, you’ll find that self-reference is one of your best allies. Keep checking in with yourself to find your balance. You’ll feel more and more comfortable and agile, as you navigate your day by flexing here, and holding firm there.

Reflect on Results: Don’t do this with a critical eye, but with friendly objectivity. This allows you to build on your experience and deepen your trust in yourself and your judgment.

So, how will you start setting and maintaining authentic boundaries, beginning today?

Here some more help…

Setting and maintaining authentic boundaries is a skill that makes everything else in your life possible. And it’s a difficult challenge for lots of smart, motivated people. People like you. “Your Secret Power: How to Honor Your Time and Claim Your Space with Boundaries” gently steers you to a more profound understanding of where and how your boundary-setting efforts get short-circuited. Not only that, but it helps you establish the boundaries you need to unlock the door to your freedom. Boundary-setting is a skill that’s learnable, doable and definitely within your reach. And the strategies, tips and exercises in “Your Secret Power” help you discover how to:

  • Set and maintain boundaries to enhance your productivity and, yes, make more money;
  • Recharge your energy so you have the time and freedom to do what you value and what you’d like to do in your life; and
  • Learn how to say no, which opens the door to your next big Yes.

Ready to start using authentic boundaries to maximize your time and energy? Click the link below to learn more about this transformative time tool and the bonuses that come with it:

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