Changing the Dance Creates Possibilities for You

avoid collisions
Check in before changing the dance.

What do I mean by changing the dance? And what does that have to do with time?

Well, making changes in our lives is all about steps. And even though there’s an adage that says it’s true, I don’t believe that taking a new step forward necessarily has to mean taking two steps backward. 

No indeed.

But it’s true that whenever you do something new, any number of interactions may shift, subtly or dramatically, in response.

A step forward by you can transform how you move through your moments and your day.  And to borrow another adage (one I prefer in this context), “When the steps change, so does the dance.”

It’s your dance.

I just love the proactivity and creativity of thinking about it this way.  When you set time boundaries to find more time, you take positive control. And you truly are changing the dance.

This works best when you factor in time to gracefully establish a new dance. What do I mean by that?

Well, to continue the dance imagery, I mean that fewer toes will get stepped on. Ultimately, changing the dance gracefully means that your progress will be that much smoother.

Changing the dance gracefully.

Setting a new time boundary initiates a chain reaction. That’s because change, whether large or small, disrupts the invisible network of understandings that have evolved over time.

Any number of “deals,” real or imagined, may underlie your old arrangements. Often these deals are not articulated. And many times they aren’t even consciously understood.

So, as you initiate changes, be prepared for others to renegotiate their end of things, too. Accepting this in advance means you won’t be surprised by it.  It’ll be a new step in the dance.

Don’t personalize, but prepare.

Do your best to not personalize their choices, and to know that this dance is fluid and evolving. The steps are not set in stone, and all that you have control over is your end of it.  The more practical and cooperative you are, the better your chances for a successful transition when you’re changing the dance.

So, before you set new boundaries, prepare for discussions to work out details. Sort out where you will actively stick with certain ideas, and where others can exercise initiative. 

These questions help when you’re changing the dance.

Ask yourself some of these questions as you get started:

  • Where can you move ahead independently?
  • Which issues require consensus?
  • What sort of consensus and cooperation will be needed?
  • What falls within your area of responsibility?
  • Which outcomes can you let go of?
  • Where are you willing to compromise?
  • What is non-negotiable?

Many win/win options may exist.

So consider doing some extensive brainstorming before setting boundaries that change the steps in your dances significantly. That prepares you well for crafting satisfying resolutions.

Ask yourself how you set time boundaries in your life now? Reflect on how this has impacted the dance of your days.

Be as specific as you can. I’d love to hear your experiences with this.

Here’s more help…

Setting and maintaining boundaries is a skill that makes everything else in your life possible. And it’s a difficult challenge for lots of smart, motivated people. People like you.

“Your Secret Power: How to Honor Your Time and Claim Your Space with Boundaries” gently steers you to a more profound understanding of where and how your boundary-setting efforts get short-circuited. Not only that, but it helps you establish the boundaries you need to unlock the door to your freedom. Boundary-setting is a skill that’s learnable, doable and definitely within your reach. And the strategies, tips, and exercises in “Your Secret Power” help you discover how to:

  • Set and maintain boundaries to enhance your productivity and, yes, make more money;
  • Recharge your energy so you have the time and freedom to do what you value and what you’d like to do in your life; and
  • Learn how to say no, which opens the door to your next big Yes.

Ready to start using boundaries to maximize your time and energy? Click the link below to learn more about this transformative time tool and the bonuses that come with it:

Let’s explore time together…

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