Childhood messages persist…
If you go back and explore your history, you may well discover your childhood roots of perfectionism.
Indeed, perfectionism often takes hold in early childhood. And the earlier it starts, the deeper and more entangled are its roots. In previous posts, we’ve explored the challenges presented by perfectionism. So, now, I invite you to build on what you’ve learned so far.
Reduce your perfectionism using these 3 friendly tips.
Let’s start with a closer look at the verbal and nonverbal messages you received growing up. That helps you take the next step, as you identify the hidden agendas that sabotage you.
And these insights, in turn, free you to start replacing those undermining messages and agendas with clear intentions and supportive self-talk.
Unearth your roots of perfectionism…
1. What Perfectionist Messages Were You Given as a Child?
Now, think back to when you were young and first experienced pressures to be perfect. What explicit messages did you receive about being perfect? List them, then ask yourself the following:
- Who delivered these messages?
- What was your response?
- Thinking about the roots of perfectionism, what patterns persist in your life today?
2. What Nonverbal Perfectionist Messages Influenced You?
What actions did you witness as a child that spurred your desire to be perfect? Was perfectionism modeled by important people in your life? Or were you trying to compensate for some lack with perfection?
- Describe what you observed and experienced.
- How did you feel?
- In what ways do you perpetuate this in your adult life?
Now, step back and appreciate the insights that you are opening yourself to. What lessons are you learning about the things that triggered your early desire to be “perfect”? Notice how, when you look at those ancient messages now, you can see just how outdated they are. This undercuts their power over you in the present.
And here’s one more tip for today…
3. Use Your Powers of Logic to Reduce Perfectionism.
You can overcome perfectionist paralysis with logical questions. The next time you say, “But it’s still not perfect,” ask yourself:
- What would be perfect?
- How would an impartial observer describe the project right now?
- What does this tell you?
Perfectionism paralyzes, undermining your ability to move forward. No matter how essential your excessive standards might seem, in reality, they prevent you from achieving your potential.
So the next time you feel immobilized by perfectionism, use logic to create a positive foundation to move from.
More help for you…
Perfectionism eats up the energy and undermines the confidence of countless bright, energetic, and talented people. And my E-Guide “Why Perfectionists Aren’t Perfect: How to Overcome the Pitfalls of Perfectionism and Change Your Life for Good” puts proven, practical, heart-based time success tools into your hands.
With this E-Guide you engage in a process of learning that is deepening and doable and definitely within your reach. And the thought-provoking strategies, tips, and exercises help you discover how to:
- Recognize the messages that fuel your perfectionism,
- Create new realistic and compassionate messages to empower yourself, and
- Increase your confidence, creativity, productivity, and satisfaction.
And it comes with two powerful bonuses:
- “Perfectionism and Procrastination: Untangling the Knots” is an immediately downloadable Special Report that sells separately for $9.95 — and is my gift to you! This Special Report takes you by the hand and leads you through sequenced exercises. It also includes a customizable template with concrete examples to help you solidify your learning as you deepen your understanding of yourself and your time choices.
- And in addition to this Special Report, we’ve added a 5-week e-course. We’ll send you weekly, bite-sized servings of “Why Perfectionists Aren’t Perfect” — right to your inbox.
So, are you tired of feeling like your own worst enemy? And are you ready to step away from perfectionism and free up the time and energy it’s been devouring? Then click the link below to learn more about this transformative time tool and the bonuses that come with it.
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