Difficult Personalities – Timely Tips to Ease Things Up!

Wooden Doll - Difficult Personalities

Difficult personalities don’t need to trample you!

Difficult personalities are an occasional fact of life. Accepting that baseline fact helps you immediately. That’s because you’ve shifted your expectation and are likely to feel less victimized when you encounter someone who’s challenging to deal with.

And there are even more steps that you can take to help yourself.

In yesterday’s post we discussed  some ways to handle those difficult personalities who slow you down. Here are 3 more tips to help you transform dead-end dynamics by creatively rethinking your own time choices when stressed.

Timely Tips for Dealing with Difficult Personalities

1. You travel farther in “neutral.”

Is someone trying to commandeer your time? Resist the natural urge to escalate. Instead, consciously relax to create an inner mood of spaciousness and curiosity.

Let’s say a co-worker pleads for you to bail her out of a hot spot yet again …

Try restating her “emergency” in a low-key manner, with no blaming or value judgment. You benefit in two significant ways:

  • First, you provide yourself with valuable breathing room while acknowledging that you understand the request.
  • Second, by reframing the situation from your perspective, you make it clear that you are assessing it for yourself.

Finally, include prioritizing your commitments into the narrative, to extend the overview beyond your coworker’s urgency and limited perspective. You create a crucial shift in power by using this simple technique. Refusing to reflexively respond to another’s “calamity” is an act of assertiveness and self-esteem.

2. Locate your power point in “stuck” interactions.

In every problematic interchange, there exists a special power point. Generally, this is the place where you are so stuck you don’t even know you’re stuck. Take space, relax, and invite insights to surface. Keep the focus on your end of the struggle.

Your challenge is to create choices you can implement to improve your situation, regardless of what the other person does. This strengthens your negotiating position immensely.

Notice how the more you focus on empowering yourself, the less resentful you feel about your inability to control the other party!

3. Gratitude offers a powerful shift in perspective.

Appreciating your “partner in challenge” provides you with fresh insights that pave the way for genuine progress.

Consider taking a few minutes to list anything and everything you appreciate about the person you lock horns with. You might even draft a brief letter of gratitude, to help restore perspective. Cultivating a thankful attitude lowers blood pressure and enables you to relate to the entire person, including the strengths they possess.

So let go. You are far more likely to identify potentials for mutual benefit when you are relaxed and cooperative.

You nourish and actually create a stronger self, every time you clarify your priorities and assertively protect them. What a wonderful way to develop and celebrate your power throughout your life!


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