Don’t Know What You Need? Here’s How Listening Helps

Schedule for you
Listen to yourself…

When you know what you need, it’s a lot easier to give it to yourself.

And, as you’re probably well aware by now, being productive starts with taking care of yourself. 

And taking care of yourself starts with having a clear idea of what you need.

So start here:

Knowing what you need begins with finding time to listen to yourself.

And believe it or not, knowing what you need doesn’t come naturally for us adults.  There are tangled thickets of old messages, beliefs, and learned behaviors that get in the way.

That’s why it’s so important to create an authentic dialogue with yourself. Then you can truly ask about what you need, listen to the answer that comes. And importantly, you can then address it in whatever way seems appropriate.

Think about a good friend who is going through some challenges.  I am guessing that you might want to be helpful in some way; but you wouldn’t assume that you knew what he or she needed.  You would probably ask.

Know what YOU need…

And that’s what is so helpful to do with yourself, as well.  When you are stuck on a project, or just feeling irritable or antsy or restless, that’s a point where you can offer yourself some help.

So, stop what you are doing and ask yourself some open-ended questions:

  • What am I feeling right now?
  • What would help?

This is a simple, straightforward dialogue.  The more you do it, the more easily the answers will come.

And they may surprise you!

Now that you know what you need, you also need to respond.  Do this (always) from an adult and caring place (NOT from a critical place). 

In some cases, you will be able to immediately give yourself what you need (a brief walk outside, for example).  Or you might make an ‘appointment’ with yourself for later. (And be SURE to follow through on this – it builds your trust in yourself.)

I some cases, what you want may not be possible or advisable.  Say you are working on a deadline and are tired and what you really want is to get to bed, but if you do you will disappoint lots of people.  In this case, you can’t give yourself what you want, but you can respond from a calm, adult place (as you would with a friend).  And perhaps there is something else you can give yourself that would help.

Listening always helps…

Often, the simple fact of feeling heard, seen, and acknowledged is refreshing and nourishing.  Indeed, this kind of honest dialogue with yourself can blossom and grow into ever-deepening self-knowledge that will nourish you in unimagined ways.

Asking and listening lead to knowing what you need. This knowledge is helpful in both immediate and ongoing ways.

And helps you know what you need…

Do you ever feel like you’re running on empty and there are no gas stations anywhere to be found? That’s what it’s like when you aren’t taking care of yourself.

It’s an awful feeling, and one that’s all too familiar for many of us. In fact, if I had to guess, I’d say that finding time for self-care is one of the biggest challenges going. And I’ve created an E-Guide that addresses this challenge and offers you a path to creating your own, rejuvenating self-care routines and rituals. It’s titled “Self-Criticism or Self-Care? How Your Choices Define You, Your Time, and Your Life.”

This E-Guide gets right down to business as it offers questions, insights and exercises aimed at helping you come to a deeper understanding of:

  • What gets in your way when it comes to taking care of yourself.
  • How your capacity for compassion is connected to self-care.
  • The activities that are most nurturing for you, and how to include them in your schedule, EVERY day.

To begin your self-care journey and claim your copy of “Self-Criticism or Self-Care? How Your Choices Define You, Your Time, and Your Life” click below:

Speak Your Mind