As a reader of The Time Finder Blog or my articles at ezinearticles.com you know that Self Care is something that I view as a responsibility – NOT a luxury or self-indulgence.
Self care is something to attend to every day. It is most DEFINITELY NOT something to pursue only once in a blue moon – but all too often, that is the case.
You are probably very familiar with the scenarios. Your To Do List is overflowing and there are people making additional requests of you and your time. You want to do just-one-more-thing and then, you tell yourself, you’ll journal or meditate or go for a walk.
Only that “one-more-thing” turns into three, and before you know it you are falling into bed, exhausted – having never paused or taken a breath – and STILL feeling overwhelmed.
When I work with my clients on this pattern in their lives, they find it helpful to step back and explore the secondary gains that they reap from it. For many, it comes down to issues about responsibility and choice. Rather than making clear choices about their priorities (a very self-defining step to take) they let the scarcity of time force their choices (thereby relieving them of that responsibility).
This often comes from the erroneous idea that one’s own priorities (including self care) are somehow selfish and that, conversely, suffering through constant feelings of overwhelm is somehow virtuous. This mindset leads to a perennial state of feeling either martyred or victimized, because life always asks for more than we can deliver. It’s a mindset that also takes our time choices and time priorities out of our hands – an escape from responsibility, but also a sure set up for dissatisfaction.
I’m excited that this December we’ll experience the unusual phenomenon of a Blue Moon. It’s something that always pulls me up short, and ours is tomorrow, in fact. The next one won’t occur until August of 2012!
What could be more fortuitous – a Blue Moon on the Eve of the New Year! As you pause to appreciate this phenomenon, may you think of it as a touchstone … a reminder to amp up your self care (AND your self-responsibility) in 2010. Be good to yourself more than once in a blue moon … you deserve it, AND it’s your responsibility!
Oh, and please drop me a line before the next Blue Moon … I’d love to hear how this goes for you!
What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up and download The New Finding Time Personal Boundary Template. It’s FREE, and when you sign up you will also receive (if you don’t already) my FREE, weekly Finding Time Tips and my FREE, monthly Award-Winning Finding Time E-zine!
Let’s explore time together …
I had to comment. I wholeheartedly agree with you. Something people often overlook in managing their time (or more commonly – not managing their time) is time for themselves.
By taking the time to do something that you really enjoy you will automatically become more productive in other areas of your life, as you will be much less stress. It is a win-win.
Thanks for the article.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your comment, Michelle. I thoroughly agree. We are repaid for our investments in ourselves – sometimes in ways that we would not have been able to predict. But it’s definitely a win-win!
I’m taking your words to heart, Paula. I’m the queen of just getting one more thing done and then finding I’m doing two or three…
Thank you.
Hi Ellen – It’s a challenge, letting go of that “one more thing.” Maybe for starters, try paying attention to the sorts of things that snag you. Are there categories of tasks or activities that you find especially hard to put down or let go of? Information is power! Here’s to your time success in 2010!
Thank you for pointing out that taking care of oneself is NOT being selfish! This is important for people to know.
Kathryn
Thanks for sharing this Paula. It is excellent advice.
Agree with Pam. Thank you for this great advice~Thanks??