Yesterday I wrote about finding time when your to do list is overflowing and your stress level is high. I’d like to expand on that this morning and discuss how the inner critic can throw a wrench in the works — especially when you’re at your busiest.
As we’ve geared up for making our e-mail provider switch here at The Time Finder, we’ve needed to learn a lot about a new e-mail platform with different protocols and practices. Having become very familiar with the old system, this has been an unsettling change.
The other day I could tell that my VA was feeling particularly stressed, and asked her about it. She shared her feelings of discouragement — that things were going more slowly than she’d expected, and that each step seemed complicated and difficult.
As we talked, she realized that it wasn’t so much the new platform that was worrying her, but her own ability to master it. Her inner critic was eating away at her confidence, while her inner saboteur was taking her feelings about the current situation and projecting them out into the future. Not only was she feeling discouraged in the moment, but her inner saboteur was telling her that things would ALWAYS feel this way!
Her relief was palpable, as she realized what she was doing to herself – AND realized that she had the power to change it! Her inner adult could counter these debilitating messages with reality-based information.
She began to give herself messages in her adult voice, like:
- “I’m learning something new. That’s always a process that takes some time, but eventually this will all be familiar and running smoothly.”
- “How I am feeling right now is not how I will feel in a month, or a week, or even tomorrow.”
- “I can do this!”
It was amazing to observe the results, as she used positive self talk to counter her inner critic and saboteur and re-engage energetically with her work!
Have you used self talk like this in your life? How has it worked for you? I’d love to hear!
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Let’s explore time together …
Great observation, that not only tasks but feelings can be better managed by viewing each transient phase as just one “step” in an ongoing process… and one best handled with a nurturing and adult outlook. Thanks!
Hi Alison – Having a handle on the power of self talk is so key to making the most of each moment! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!
I’m glad your VA was able to get past her inner critic. You must be very skilled in explaining such critical interior messages and how to get beyond them. Good job!
Hi Kathryn – Thanks for your comment. Being attuned to one’s inner messages is so powerful – and empowering. The changes that those moments of awareness and insight can bring about – seemingly in the twinkling of an eye (but actually as the result of what I think of as ‘work and willingness’) – are truly remarkable.