Going Through Changes? Supporting Yourself is Job #1

Unexpected demands
YOU need support when going through changes.

When you’re going through changes you may feel disoriented and at sea.

Indeed, going through changes is going to throw you off balance to some degree, even if it’s a relatively small disruption.

So, finding time to support yourself, whether you’re experiencing an expected transition or an unanticipated change is vital. This is easy to forget in the midst of change. But supporting yourself is just as important as supporting your friends when they are in similar circumstances.

And you wouldn’t hesitate to support a friend.

Going through changes is part of life…

Your schedule is already busy with relationships, work, and the logistics of daily living. And then there are times when you are faced with a major life transition.

Think about how you define a life transition:

  • Starting or ending primary relationships,
  • Having a child,
  • Moving to new surroundings, and
  • Changing jobs.

These are life transitions for anyone who undergoes them.

Other life events may also affect you profoundly. What is unique is how you experience such an event and find the time to meet your personal needs.

For example…

Here’s a quick exercise to get you started as you reflect on how to support yourself when you are going through changes.

  • Take any event that is a life transition for you.
  • Set aside 15 minutes once a day to think about it.
  • During your 15 minutes of reflection, write down the changes you will need to make to find the time to successfully navigate these transitions.
  • Consider all the ways you can support yourself as you move through your changes.

Revisit this exercise over time. You’ll find yourself going deeper, the more time you spend. And the more you engage, the more you may be surprised by what emerges.

More help for going through changes…

Do you ever feel like change is coming at you too fast, or like it just arrives, uninvited, out of the blue?

I’ve recently been working with a client who was blindsided by the sudden passing of a long-time co-worker. It’s turned her work life upside down and has also shaken her on a deep and personal level because this co-worker was the same age and also a good friend.

It’s brought up all kinds of big questions, on top of grief, and new work demands. The stresses and questions are piling up and she is feeling disoriented and anxious.

We’ve been working together on this for several weeks now. And today I shared a new time tool with her. I want to share it with you as well.

It’s titled How to Partner with Change and Aging. And to discover more about it right now, you can click here.


  1. Dear Paula, thank you once again for your wonderful reflections. This has been a very challenging year both personally and professionally, and the first thing I “didn’t have time for” was my very simple and realistic fitness schedule that I had started last year (with great results). Those voices in my head both supported and condemned this decision; a narrative that you often describe.
    Thanks to this post, I just took the time to schedule fitness appointments–even if it is one appointment in a week–starting in late July after this very busy phase I am in. Just taking that step made me feel better and more focused.
    Yes–supporting yourself is so important! Thanks for being a positive, supportive voice.

    • Thank you so much, David. I am glad to hear that you’re making the self-supporting choices you are. (And am sorry to hear that it’s been a challenging time.) Your resilience is heartening, and I absolutely agree that the simple fact of making the choice you have, even with a future implementation, is a self-caring (and energizing) step. Take good care as you navigate your challenges.

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