Guilt and Fear — Don’t Let Them Hold You Hostage

choose wisely owl

Don’t choose guilt and fear.

Guilt and fear are, unfortunately, all too present for many of us.

And that’s why finding time and then enjoying the time you find can sometimes feel like an act of courage.

This is especially true when there are voices (both inside you and around you) telling you that your time doesn’t really belong to you. Perhaps they tell you that you owe it to others, instead. Enter guilt and fear.

But rather than allowing these nagging voices to make you feel that way, how about introducing another, adult voice to the mix?  Your calm, rational, adult voice will ask a very fundamental question:  Is this the truth? Or is it merely a myth?

One message that brings up guilt and fear:

It’s helpful to identify these messages and be as specific as you can about what you (or others) are saying.  One very common myth you might tell yourself is:

I can’t let people down when they have such high expectations of me.

Now this myth might feel very real to you. Your desire to please those you care about may be very strong. The problem is, when others’ expectations come first, your priorities come last. Otherwise, you carry a constant burden of guilt and fear, anticipating others’ disappointment at every turn.

Does this feel familiar?  If you are ready to stop making yourself feel guilty, here is your opportunity to initiate some freeing changes in how you relate.  Your adult message to counter this myth would be:

Regardless of what others may believe, I am not obligated to meet their expectations.

Acting on this can feel terrifying at first. But with practice, declaring your independence from others’ expectations will feel liberating. In fact, you may discover that important relationships grow more resilient as you develop your assertiveness and authenticity. And you’ll use your time in more rewarding ways.

Consider this:

Here’s a helpful affirmation you can use as you reclaim your time, especially when you start to feel guilty about your time choices:

Others have a right to their feelings, and I have a right to use my time in ways that align with my deepest values.

Allowing others the space to have their feelings, and empowering yourself to not feel guilty when you make self-affirming choices are very powerful, heart-based time management tools.

Want more help?

We all have voices that chatter at us throughout the day. The Inner Critic is one of them. Learning to recognize (and counter) this destructive voice is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

You see, the Inner Critic is a negative, debilitating and constant presence in your life.  And it’s not just the words. It’s the judgmental tone, the rolling eyes, and the scolding wag of the index finger. Beyond sapping your energy and confidence, your Inner Critic robs you of time and profoundly distorts how you see others and how you feel about yourself. So, what can you do?

Give yourself a big boost with my Exercise and Guide Book titled “These Critical Voices Are Driving Me Crazy!” How to Use Positive Self-Talk to Save Your Sanity and Your Time! Part of my popular Voices Package, this E-Guide offers simple, practical exercises, checklists and tips for learning to recognize and counter the critical voices that disrupt and hurt you.

“This guidebook is by a secret genius as far as I’m concerned.
Her name is Paula Eder and she is absolutely brilliant
when it comes to how to be in relationship with self and
how to be in relationship with time.”
Heather Dominick

You hold the power to make conscious choices about the kinds of messages you give yourself. As you exercise this power, you’ll develop new clarity and confidence – and transform your time. “These Critical Voices Are Driving Me Crazy!” opens the door and gives you a roadmap, so don’t wait.

Click this link to learn more about the Voices Package and get started on your empowering journey today.

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