How Can I Befriend Myself? Try Empowered Compassion™

excess expectations
Befriend, don’t berate yourself…

I recently had an e-mail from a reader named Tina who is striving to befriend herself in the midst of a busy life.

Chronically having too much on her plate, she struggles with frustration and fatigue. Her expectations for herself are high, and she almost never meets them.

Maybe what Tina shared will sound familiar to you. I know it did to me.

Befriend Myself? How?

Dear Paula,

Your ideas about time really interest me as I try to be gentler with myself. And as I’ve been reading about Empowered Compassion™ I realize that it sounds just like what I need.

I’m so tired of driving myself and never feeling like I achieve half of what I should. It’s really challenging to be raising my family and also starting up my own business. How do I find a way to give my family and my new company what they need while saving some time for myself?

Here are some ideas that help…

I was so struck by the universality of Tina’s challenges that I wanted to share them here, along with my response. It’s vital for each of us to befriend ourselves. This is true no matter what our life circumstances may be. So, here’s how I responded to Tina:

Dear Tina,

It sounds like there’s a lot on your plate. I’m glad you wrote, because learning to befriend yourself, no matter what, means you don’t waste energy on self-doubt and self-criticism.

Making sure that you are grounded in realism is a good place to start. As one person, you can only accomplish one thing at a time. So make sure your standards and expectations for meeting your responsibilities in each area of your life are realistic.

3 steps to try now…

Here are some additional steps to get you there. While it doesn’t hurt to have big goals, it’s vital that you keep in mind that Empowered Compassion™ starts with realism.

  • I suggest that you write down what you expect to accomplish at home. Divide your list into two columns, one for before and one for after work. Assess what’s reasonable within those time frames, and what is overly-ambitious. Pare your list down to absolute essentials. Simply reducing demands will relieve some of the stress.
  • Next, give some thought to how each member of the family can participate in household chores, according to their age and developmental level. As they start to pitch in, you’ll have more time to spend with them in enjoyable activities.
  • Try a new approach to planning for your business: For your daily To-Do List, prioritize your tasks. Then include only 3 of the highest priority action steps that you can complete that day. Everything else goes onto a Master List. Don’t carry it in your head, and don’t look too far ahead. A short manageable list helps you focus and follow through. And always validate yourself for what you accomplish.

It can be very hard to take in the fact that the standards you live by are entirely of your own making. But it’s true, and what that means is that they can be revised by you. As you befriend yourself and claim full responsibility for making your life work, you can give yourself permission to slow down.

Breathe. Be. Appreciate yourself exactly as you are. Appreciate your family and your new company exactly as they are. By nourishing yourself with Empowered Compassion™ you generate energy and resolve for your next small step forward.

I wish you power and compassion today.


And here’s more help for you…

We all have voices that chatter at us throughout the day. The Inner Critic is one of them. Learning to recognize (and counter) this destructive voice is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

You see, the Inner Critic is a negative, debilitating and constant presence in your life.  And it’s not just the words! It’s the judgmental tone, the rolling eyes, and the scolding wag of the index finger.

Beyond sapping your energy and confidence, your Inner Critic robs you of time and profoundly distorts how you see others and how you feel about yourself. So, what can you do? 

Give yourself a big boost with my Exercise and Guide Book titled “These Critical Voices Are Driving Me Crazy!” How to Use Positive Self-Talk to Save Your Sanity and Your Time! This book offers simple, practical exercises, checklists and tips for learning to recognize and counter the critical voices that disrupt and hurt you.

“This guidebook is by a secret genius as far as I’m concerned.
Her name is Paula Eder and she is absolutely brilliant
when it comes to how to be in relationship with self and
how to be in relationship with time.”
Heather Dominick

You hold the power to make conscious choices about the kinds of messages you give yourself. As you exercise this power, you’ll develop new clarity and confidence – and transform your time.

“These Critical Voices Are Driving Me Crazy!” opens the door and gives you a roadmap, so don’t wait. Click this link to get started on your empowering journey today!

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