Put Self-Sabotage in Its Place With Assertive Time Choices

challenges and self-discovery
When self-sabotage tempts, your choices count.



Wait, why would anyone do that to themselves?

Well, picture this: Do you ever find yourself getting ready for bed and suddenly feeling like your busy day was a blur and you’re not sure where it went? 

Or maybe your to-do list is a mile long and you have two looming deadlines right around the corner. Then, on top of all that, you learn that your youngest needs a costume for the school play next Wednesday.

Does this all sound familiar?

When you find yourself in this spot, does overwhelm get the upper hand?  Do you start feeling unfocused and without a clue about where to start?  Feel like you’re paralyzed in those headlights that are barreling toward you?

This is ripe ground for self-sabotage.

Why here?  Well, it’s because you feel stressed and trapped, and a part of you would like to flee. When you’re here, you’re vulnerable.

So it’s really important to be on the lookout for that small, soothing-sounding voice. It sounds friendly, as it invites you to relax a little.

Maybe it tells you you can take a moment and surf the net. Or maybe it suggests that you turn on the TV, just for a minute or two. 

It has all kinds of ideas to ‘help’ you escape the overwhelm.

Self-sabotage never helps, though.

In fact, the best thing to do when you recognize that tempting tone is to assert yourself and say a resounding “No.” And yes, it actually helps to say it out loud.

You see, we often think of assertiveness as a skill that we need to learn to use with others.  And that’s very important.  However, at base assertiveness is a skill that starts and ends with ourselves.

Setting goals, making plans, and creating time boundaries all require assertiveness with ourselves, first and foremost. Assertiveness is key if we’re to follow-through and accomplish whatever we set out to do.

Consider this…

Self-sabotage is something we all do. There are literally a million ways people spend unproductive hours every day. Whether it’s surfing the web or clicking around all the channels on TV, we’re not learning to say “No.” And in most cases, it’s an assertiveness issue.

That’s not to say that you shouldn’t give yourself breaks.  What’s fundamentally important is this: Whatever you do, make sure it comes from your clear, adult choices and not from self-sabotage.

When you are listening to the adult voice inside and making choices from that base, you’ll know where your time went.  You may not accomplish everything you set out to, but you are likely to feel good about what you did.

Every choice we make is a time choice. And everything we do is a function of time.

And here’s more help…

How often do distractions and interruptions pull you off track? If you feel thwarted by some of your own choices, learn to support yourself by setting and maintaining meaningful inner boundaries.  My complimentary Inner Boundary Checklist is designed to help you do just that.  Find time for what truly matters to you.

Let’s explore time together …

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