Stop Perfectionism in Its Tracks with Compassion — More Timely Tips

expectations keep you stuck
Expecting perfection keeps you stuck.

In a previous blog post about the childhood roots of perfectionism, I shared 3 tips to help you deal with perfectionism.

This self-sabotaging time thief at once slows you down and wounds you.

It presents you with an impossible goal, no matter what you’re doing. Then it proceeds to criticize what you produce and eat away at your confidence.

Name your Hidden Agendas to Reclaim Your Power.

Self-defeating behaviors that stubbornly resist change often mask hidden agendas. Perhaps your strong desire to be perfect protects an illusion. Deep down, you might believe that “perfection” protects you from criticism. Or maybe focusing on tiny details helps you avoid challenges that feel scary. Of course, this illusion of safety comes at a steep price!

However, if the unreachable goal of perfection manifests in your life, it’s probably because you thought it would somehow help you. Now you can claim the power to choose productivity and proactive strength rather than illusory and impossible perfection.

3 Simple Questions Expose Hidden Agendas.

Ready to zero in on your hidden agendas? The ones that propel you toward perfectionism in your life today? Here are 3 questions that will help you uncover your unrealistic standards and create a path to move beyond the illusion of perfection. Remember to remain compassionate as you explore your answers. Your goal is to liberate yourself, not judge yourself.

1. What are you trying to cover up by being perfect?

2. What challenges do you face when you don’t cover up?

3. What benefits come from meeting these challenges with realism and resourcefulness?

Give yourself a few minutes to answer each question. What patterns do you discover?

More perfectionism tips for you…

And here are some additional tips that you can call on anytime and anywhere.

  • Patience, compassion, and humor create a healthy climate for change. Consciously invite these energies into your heart whenever you feel tense. Breathe fully from your abdomen and soften your shoulders. Call to mind something that lifts your spirits. This is your special gift to yourself. Then affirm your power to improve your mood on the spot without pleasing others.
  • Set aside 10 or 15 minutes in the morning to write a letter of unconditional support to yourself. Describe what you appreciate about YOU. Let yourself drink in the warm, soothing feelings. Draw on this throughout your day.
  • Ask yourself what you seek from others when you try to be perfect. Be specific. Write it down. Then brainstorm how you can give yourself what you need right now, exactly as you are. The more attention and care you give yourself, the less you’ll look to others for that.
  • Give yourself a clear beginning and ending. If you spend endless time perfecting projects, set a timer for one hour, take a break and re-assess.
  • Pay attention to yourself. Notice through the day when the desire to be perfect is strongest. What are the triggers? Create a plan to support yourself during these times of heightened vulnerability.

Perfectionism isn’t something you can wrestle to the ground. Instead, short-circuit your perfectionism by enhancing your self-awareness, welcoming new insights, and accepting support from others.

As your perspective softens, deepens, and expands, new doors will open to you.

Just look at all you’ve uncovered and learned. In childhood, you did your best to keep yourself safe. Now, invite yourself to stretch. As you leave perfectionism behind and explore brave new vistas, think of all you’ll find.

And here’s more help for you…

Perfectionism eats up the energy and undermines the confidence of countless bright, energetic, and talented people. Are you one of them?

 “Why Perfectionists Aren’t Perfect: How to Overcome the Pitfalls of Perfectionism and Change Your Life for Good” puts proven, practical, heart-based time success tools into your hands. It gently steers you to a more profound understanding of your challenges and helps you unlock the door to your freedom.

With this E-Guide you engage in a process of learning that is deepening and doable and definitely within your reach. The thought-provoking strategies, tips, and exercises help you discover how to:

  • Recognize the messages that fuel your perfectionism,
  • Create new realistic and compassionate messages to empower yourself, and
  • Increase your confidence, creativity, productivity, and satisfaction.

This is an E-Guide to be worked with. And it comes with two powerful bonuses:

  • “Perfectionism and Procrastination: Untangling the Knots” is an immediately downloadable Special Report that sells separately for $9.95 — and is my gift to you! This Special Report takes you by the hand and leads you through sequenced exercises. It also includes a customizable template with concrete examples to help you solidify your learning as you deepen your understanding of yourself and your time choices.
  • And in addition to this Special Report, we’ve added a 5-week e-course. You’ll receive weekly, bite-sized servings of “Why Perfectionists Aren’t Perfect” — right to your in-box.

So, are you tired of feeling like your own worst enemy? And are you ready to step away from perfectionism and free up the time and energy it’s been devouring? Then click the link below to learn more about this transformative time tool and the bonuses that come with it!

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