Strengthen Your Relationships with Time Boundaries

relationships and boundaries
Your relationships get better with boundaries.

Your relationships thrive when you are well-grounded in your time choices. That means being realistic about what is possible, and being true to yourself and your values.

When you over-extend you’re bound to fall short on follow-through sometimes. This erodes trust (both for you and for others) and also drains your energy and confidence.

Time boundaries are key in supporting you as you work to negotiate a new level of freedom while reinforcing what’s best in your important relationships. These 3 tips will help…

TIP #1:

Commitments that you’ve already made may be like icebergs, meaning that you only see their top tip and their hefty bulk is submerged.

Have you ever tried revising an agreed-upon time commitment with someone, only to find it nearly impossible to budge? Perhaps you underestimated the complexity of the issue by focusing only on the immediate time routine you’d wanted to change. Later you discover that there was a lot more involved.

As an alternative, try considering the history of how the agreement evolved. View it from each vantage point. When you assess the whole picture, you acquire a clearer sense of scale. Then you can go into discussions much better prepared.

For example, let’s say you’d like to take a class on an evening you used to spend with a friend. What kind of change does this entail? Is she counting on your presence or support? Or did she pass up another opportunity, thinking she was going to be with you? With sensitivity you can honor the rich network of considerations and compromises that make up these commitments.

TIP #2:

Inviting others’ suggestions can significantly improve your new time boundary.

Firm boundaries needn’t be rigid. If you approach others in an open-handed way, welcoming their feedback, they may not only accept but also actively support your new boundary.

Let’s go back to the last example: if you feel attending an evening class will open up opportunities for you, share the full significance of what you are trying to achieve. Let your friend know how this will enrich your life. Ask her if she has ideas for other ways to spend time together. Perhaps the two of you can devise new possibilities in ways that support you both achieving long-range goals.

TIP #3:

Win/Win Solutions Are Built on Gain/Loss Foundations

The Law of Polarity (everything has an opposite) may seem like a paradox. But it introduces us to a powerful secret — exploring your boundary’s inherent gains and losses helps you negotiate in a more grounded and realistic way.

Taking polarities into account provides you with two priceless strengths – empathy and perspective.

  • Your empathy encourages you to work side by side with others.

Here are some questions you might ask to enhance your empathy:

  • What is considered a gain?
  • Which gains are valued most?
  • Which losses are the most workable?

Sometimes, each person valuing different things can lead to highly satisfying compromises. This kind of intimate understanding enriches the dialogue.

  • Your perspective provides a broad overview for making decisions.

If you approach this law of opposites with genuine curiosity, you can observe first hand how any decision entails losses as well as gains.

As you can see from these 3 Tips, honoring the complexity of setting respectful boundaries rewards you in multiple ways. You proceed with more heart and optimism. And this gives depth and balance to each time choice that you make.

For more help with your time challenges…

Overwhelmed? Discouraged? Stuck?

Well, here’s something that will help you loosen those logjams and start moving again.

“Why Can’t I Ever Get Anything Done?” How to Transform Your Life Using These 101 Time Tips is a compilation of 101 of my most popular time tips in expanded form, offering practical, heart-based wisdom in right-sized bites for easy digestion.

It includes time-tested tips and action steps separated into 11 common categories to help you find just what you need in the moment you need it. You know, transforming your life is all about transforming your time.  It’s within your reach, and these 101 Time Tips give you 101 stepping stones to your time success. 

And I’ve got a very special bonus for you, too. Why Can’t I Find My Direction?” 17 Journaling Prompts to Create Your Ideal Life is a workbook designed to support you in making the changes you most desire.

There’s so much for you here, and you can learn about it by clicking the link below:

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