Time Choices that Work – Supporting a Friend in Need

Friends Walking

Making good time choices to support a friend in need.

Your ability to make good time choices is going to be challenged when a friend faces a sudden crisis and needs your immediate help.

Finding time to nurture friendships is an important investment, and usually the recommendations for doing this include things like as setting aside time for lunch, regular contact and just making it a priority to keep in touch.

But when a friend is in crisis, there’s a sudden shift in those priorities.

That’s because there is a fundamental difference between social contact and
helping a friend in crisis. When a friend’s need for support is immediate, the timing of the contact is not flexible.

Consider this scenario: A close friend of yours unexpectedly loses her job. She is angry, frightened and hurt emotionally. Her need for your support goes beyond matching up schedules for lunch or for an hour on the phone. In this type of situation, that kind of flexibility is just not possible.

What can you do to avoid the stress of finding sufficient time to be a good friend right now – not tomorrow or next Friday, when you might have free time?

First, examine your own feelings.

You need to find time to understand how you feel about this event before you can provide support to your friend. Do you feel obligated? Pressured? Do you feel guilty thinking about how the need to support your friend complicates your planned activities?

These are all feelings that can come up, and the more conflicted you feel, the more difficult it is to provide support for your friend.

So, clear your mind first!

The best place to start finding the time to be the friend you’d like to be is to clear your mind of all sense of obligation or guilt. These are not good motivators offering support or for doing what you need to do to make yourself available to your friend.

Be realistic.

The next step is to remain realistic about your ability to realign your existing commitments. Don’t create expectations that you may not be able to meet.

Once you have considered your own feelings, you are ready to shift your priorities. You will then be able to balance finding time to be the friend you’d like to be with accomplishing what you need to do.

How you’re feeling affects the quality of your support.

Offering your undivided, unhurried attention with genuine caring will provide more support than ‘sacrificing’ more extensive time while feeling distracted, resentful and over-extended.

To develop the flexibility and decisiveness you need, sign up for our free gift, “The New Finding Time Boundary Template: 9 Simple, Sequential Steps to Find More Time and Recharge Your Energy!” by clicking HERE. This time template will help you move beyond overwhelm, disappointment, and frustration. Using a workbook format, with room to record your answers, you will discover that 24 hours really are enough!

Speak Your Mind