Want More Confidence? How to Manage What You Tell Yourself

change my life -- more confidence
You can give yourself more confidence.

Having more confidence is an immediate energy boost. But confidence may be hard to come by when your to-do list is overflowing and your stress level is high.

And finding more confidence is especially difficult when your inner critic is on the scene and eager to throw a wrench in the works.

When you’re at your busiest, you’re often also at your most vulnerable when it comes to negative self-talk.

And here’s the thing — whatever you are saying to yourself is actually within your power to change. But you have to stop and hear it, first.

Thinking back to a stressful time…

This morning I was remembering a time some years ago when we needed to quickly change e-mail providers here at The Time Finder. We needed to learn a lot as we geared up to use a new e-mail platform with different protocols and practices. Having become very familiar with the old system, this was an unsettling change and it slowed us down a lot at first.

I recall noticing that my VA seemed particularly stressed. When I asked her about it she shared that she was feeling discouraged. She was worried that things were going so more slowly than she’d expected. And she was frustrated that each step seemed complicated and difficult.

Self-talk matters.

As we talked, she realized that it wasn’t so much the new platform that was the problem. What was worrying her was her own ability to master it. And she realized that this was a message she was giving herself.

Her inner critic was eating away at her confidence by telling her that she wouldn’t be able to master this new tool. And even worse, her inner saboteur was taking her feelings about the present and projecting them out into the future.

Not only was she feeling discouraged in the moment, but she was telling herself that things would ALWAYS feel this way.

Find more confidence, change what you tell yourself.

Her relief was palpable when she realized what she was doing to herself AND that she had the power to change it. This is true for all of us. We have an inner adult that can always counter these debilitating messages with reality-based information.

So she began to give herself messages in her adult voice, like:

  • “I’m learning something new. That’s always a process that takes some time, but eventually this will all be familiar and running smoothly.”
  • “How I am feeling right now is not how I will feel in a month, or a week, or even tomorrow.”
  • “I can do this.”

The results were positive and affirming as she used positive self-talk to counter her inner critic and saboteur. She was able to re-engage energetically with her work.

How have you observed the self-talk in your life?  How might you transform it for yourself, starting today?

Here’s more help…

You face unique questions and are called, continually, to come up with unique solutions. So, I’m offering something to help with that today. It’s a deck of cards — 50 cards, to be exact. And it’s titled Mindful Moments: Heart-Based Reflections on Time and Life. Brief and compelling, each card offers you something to think about. And each card is different.

The focus of this particular card series consolidates decades of my experience into bite-sized reflections and journal prompts. And working with these cards will help you pause, ponder, and deepen your experience. This enriches you, no matter what the world is bringing to your door.

To learn more, click this link: https://thetimefinder.com/MindfulMoments.html

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