What Helps You Get Started? It’s Knowing You Can Stop.

Knowing you can stop keeps you going.

Yes, knowing you can stop is the key to getting started.

It may sound counterintuitive. But knowing you can stop is a powerful boundary that helps you take that all-important first step.

Mastering time challenges brings a marvelous feeling of relief. And that mastery, at its most basic level, is about starting and stopping.

Using the image of driving a car, sometimes it’s like applying the brakes as your car rushes downhill. Other times, it’s turning the key, starting the engine, and taking off. 

The thing is, you feel comfortable about moving ahead because now you know you can stop when you need to.

Knowing you can stop.

Perhaps you’ve heard the expression, “You can’t say yes unless you can say no.” Clearing the space to affirmatively move ahead on a goal is often a matter of eliminating something else. It might not be forever, but at least for the moment.

Interestingly, the fear of not being able to proactively say no and establish meaningful time boundaries can also lead to the more passive “No” that is procrastination.  Putting off an important project may reflect a fear that success will create a whole new set of problems or expectations for you.

These patterns often begin in early childhood. Maybe you once feared the consequences of saying “No” to your parents’ demands. Or maybe you were afraid that your success would raise the bar beyond your desires or capabilities.

Dragging your heels may have been an effective stalling tactic back then. But now, procrastination is more like a cage that holds you captive.

Your life now truly is different.

It’s important to remind yourself of this fact and fully experience the good news this is. Now is different. And not only do you not need old coping skills to survive, they actually hold you back.

So, take a moment, right now, to give yourself a friendly, adult affirmation.  You now possess the power to decide exactly how to use your growing competence.

You can choose to match new skills with a new way of living. AND you don’t need to fear that success will rope you into a life you don’t want.

Take in this fact, right down to your toes: Whatever competencies you develop and whatever projects you pursue, you can choose to continue or you can stop.

The choice is always in your hands. And this assertive skill helps you live your deepest values and beliefs.

Here’s more help…

Setting and maintaining boundaries is a skill that makes everything else in your life possible. And it’s a difficult challenge for lots of smart, motivated people. People like you.

“Your Secret Power: How to Honor Your Time and Claim Your Space with Boundaries” gently steers you to a more profound understanding of where and how your boundary-setting efforts get short-circuited. Not only that, but it helps you establish the boundaries you need to unlock the door to your freedom. Boundary-setting is a skill that’s learnable, doable and definitely within your reach. And the strategies, tips, and exercises in “Your Secret Power” help you discover how to:

  • Set and maintain boundaries to enhance your productivity and, yes, make more money;
  • Recharge your energy so you have the time and freedom to do what you value and what you’d like to do in your life; and
  • Learn how to say no, which opens the door to your next big Yes.

Ready to start using boundaries to maximize your time and energy? Click the link below to learn more about this transformative time tool and the bonuses that come with it:


Let’s explore time together …


  1. Wow–a real eye-opener. This ties back nicely to the post “change ‘have to’ to ‘choose to.'” We are truly in the driver’s seat and are in control–braking or accelerating as we need to.
    Thanks AGAIN, Paula!

    • Hi David, and thank you for your comment, which is spot on.

      Owning the power of choice is so ‘adult’ and so deeply empowering. I hope that 2020 is proving to be a good year for you, and always love hearing from you.



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