Your Guilt: Banish It and Release Your Energy

Power to Change
Don’t let your guilt devour your energy.

Your guilt, when it’s sitting in the driver’s seat, is a terribly negative, deflating, and ultimately unhelpful feeling.

Often your guilt springs, not from actions but from old messages. And the good news is that there’s a lot you can learn from your guilt.

As you open to the information your feelings offer, you’ll find a path for breaking free from old patterns that don’t serve you. Then you’ll move ahead with freed-up time and energy.

Ready to start learning from your guilt? Well, here are 3 pointers I find especially helpful:

What can your guilt tell you?

Try reframing your guilt messages into messages about appropriate responsibility.

When you feel weighed down by guilty feelings or by someone’s harsh words it’s wise to carefully explore what’s really happening. Ask yourself:

What is truly my responsibility here? If my choices created issues, how can I constructively contribute to improve my end?

Guilt is heavy-handed and reactive. Proactively taking a look and taking responsibility is even-handed and positive. Which sounds better to you?

Whenever the word “should” creeps into your thoughts, recalibrate your thinking to calmly assess what is truly your responsibility. Your clarity will provide a strong base for your assertiveness.

Claim the solid ground of self-reference.

You needn’t convince others that you’re “not guilty”.

Once you feel clear about what your actual area of responsibility is, honor your convictions by letting go of defensiveness. You keep your power in your hands when you clarify that your decisions are based on your own assessments, not others’.

Quietly refusing to take on guilt that isn’t yours helps rebalance your relationships along more realistic lines. And as you open to realism and self-reference, you may also discover mistaken assumptions of your own.

The clarity you achieve lays the groundwork for increasingly open-handed interactions. This then becomes an opportunity to refresh relationships that may have become stiff or stale.

You aren’t responsible for others’ responses to your choices.

Are you tempted to feel guilty if others express anger or disappointment with a decision you’ve made? They may feel that you are responsible for their feelings and attempt to punish you for that.

When your guilt rises in situations like these, it’s important to ground yourself in reality.

Once you take appropriate responsibility, you owe nothing more. Others needn’t agree with you or be happy with your decision. Simply stand firm about your choice, while remaining as neutral and accessible as possible.

Accept that it may take time for others to stop trying to awaken your guilt. And remember that silent self-affirmations are an effective antidote to feelings of guilt.

As Eleanor Roosevelt declared:

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Remember, no one can make you feel guilty without your permission, either

For more help with your guilt…

We all have voices that chatter at us throughout the day. The Inner Critic is one of them. Learning to recognize (and counter) this destructive voice is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

You see, the Inner Critic is a negative, debilitating and constant presence in your life.  And it’s not just the words. It’s the judgmental tone, the rolling eyes, and the scolding wag of the index finger. Beyond sapping your energy and confidence, your Inner Critic robs you of time and profoundly distorts how you see others and how you feel about yourself. So, what can you do? 

Give yourself a big boost with my Exercise and Guide Book titled “These Critical Voices Are Driving Me Crazy!” How to Use Positive Self-Talk to Save Your Sanity and Your Time! Part of my popular Voices Package, this E-Guide offers simple, practical exercises, checklists, and tips for learning to recognize and counter the critical voices that disrupt and hurt you.

“This guidebook is by a secret genius as far as I’m concerned.
Her name is Paula Eder and she is absolutely brilliant
when it comes to how to be in relationship with self and
how to be in relationship with time.”
Heather Dominick

You hold the power to make conscious choices about the kinds of messages you give yourself. As you exercise this power, you’ll develop new clarity and confidence – and transform your time.

“These Critical Voices Are Driving Me Crazy!” opens the door and gives you a roadmap, so don’t wait. Click this link to learn more about the Voices Package and get started on your empowering journey today.

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